Christian gal in the City

IF YOU CAN'T SAY SOMETHING NICE, DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL

2012-02-11T06:02:00.000-08:00

I have a cool idea for a new campaign. I’m not much of acampaign blogger but if I was I would definitely launch an online campaigncalled: ‘If you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all.’ I’m sick of the sight of all the nasty tweets. Nowadays with one click, we are free to publish opinions that wewould never dream of saying to the person face-to-face.

A few weeks ago there were reports that the much anticipated newalbum by Leona Lewis has been pushed back until to spring. 'Leona Lewis's albumhas been pushed back further than Naomi's hairline,' tweeted one twenty-somethingwriter. And in response to the published photos of Sarah Hardingshowing of her new tattoo; one feisty female PR tweeted: 'Don't be bitter -Glitter' - award for the worst tattoo in the world goes to Sarah Harding. Tooksome doing to beat Cheryl's barbed wire.'

So you can see why I want a campaign. I was told primaryschool that if I can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all. Thereare times when I remember that and it shuts me up. It’s interesting howcertain quotes and phrases linger away in my memory bank for a lifetime - it’s thepower of words. I love the way words have the ability to inspire, outrage andentertain us.On the other hand, words can wound us deeply. There are someword wounds that can take years to heal;those unkind words that flow throughour ears and pierce our hearts like a sharp arrow. I think we all know thispain to some degree. I know I do.

So much for: ‘sticks andstones may break my bones butwords will never hurt me.’ We often totally underestimate the influence of our words. Ithink if we truly understood their power we would be more cautious. I remembera wise Christian lady told me that when it comes to my words, whatever you do,just don’t let them it all hang out.

Interestingly, the Bible has lots of advice for us regardingour words. In the book of James, he says we should all be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow toget angry. Often I am the exact opposite: very slow to listen, quick to speakand quick to get angry. I’m much better than I was BC (before Christ) but I stillneed to work on taming my tongue or maybe even taming my thoughts, becausethat’s where it all starts right? I wonder how many friendships, relationships andmarriages could be saved from strife if we applied these words of advice. Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (James Chapter 1, verse 19) should definitely be written on abrightly coloured post-it note and stuck on every fridge in the city.
It’s times like this I wonder how I ever livedwithout God and the Bible. I guess thisis one reason why my life was in such a muddle before. There I was doing everyday life without themanual for life.

There is some real dross on twitter but also there are somereal gems.
Earlier this week @ComedyandTruth tweeted: ‘Be careful with yourwords, once they are said, they can only be forgiven not forgotten.’ I say ‘amen’to that.

SOMETHING WE ALL NEED TO READ AND REMEMBER AS WE BUSY OURSELVES WITH WORK, BILLS & STRESS

2012-02-06T12:58:00.000-08:00

Last Friday, a friend emailed me the article below. It arrived in my inbox with the subject heading 'Something we all need to read and remember as we busy ourselves with work, bills and stress.' I saw these words and rolled my eyes. 'Not another email telling me to cheer up' I thought. As I scrolled down and read the words, I was so blessed and challenged that I had to share it on my blog.

REGRETS OF THE DYING by Bronnie Ware

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them. When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying. It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Based on this article, Bronnie has now released a full-length book, titled The Top Five Regrets of the Dying - A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing. It is a memoir of her own life and how it was transformed by the regrets of dying people. It may be ordered through bookstores worldwide or from Balboa Press. It is also available via the link on this page. Details for wholesale orders may be found on Bronnie's official website.

THE POWER OF A THOUGHT

2012-01-31T12:56:00.000-08:00

Ladies, if you do one thing today, check out this AWESOME video message by Bishop TD Jakes. It's brilliant teaching on the power of our thoughts.
Let me know what you think.

Click-------> http://www.lightsource.com/ministry/the-potters-house/the-power-of-a-thought-part-1-254628.html

Enjoy!

Let Them Walk - Bishop T.D. Jakes

2012-01-10T17:08:00.000-08:00

Check out this encouraging message from Bishop TD Jakes! Fantastic food for thought!

20 LIFE LESSONS FROM 2011

2011-12-31T08:34:00.000-08:00

As we approach 2012, I've been relaxing at home reflectingon all that I learnt in 2011. I thought I'd share a few of my life lessons fromthe past year.

1. My fiercestbattle is my internal belief system. Ultimately, it’s my beliefs about God, me and others that will govern mythoughts, words and reactions. It’s so important tocontinuously keep checking that my beliefs are inline with truth.
2. For my own sanity, sometimes I must put my feelings to one side and focus on the facts.
3. I’m human. Imake frequently make mistakes, but those mistakes don’t have to define me.Yippppeeeeeeee!

4. Emotionaldecisions are rarely wise decisions.

5. Being aChristian gal in the city doesn’t mean that I’m better than anyone else; I’mjust better than I was BC (before Christ.)

6. Bible versesare best kept in the context they were written.
7. Unforgivenessis an trap; forgiveness is challenging but it leads to freedom.

8. Christianity is NOT a behaviour modification programme. I'm not ahypocrite; I’m a work in progress.

9. Some friendships are worth fighting for, but I cant be the only one fighting.

Its okay for friends to grow in different directions

10. I must never everever ever underestimate the power of sexual familiarity and attraction - it’sa powerful combination. Celibacy is easy peasy when you’ve got no one to have sex with.

11. We share similarcharacteristics as animals because we have the same creator.

12. Speaking out loudpositive affirmations and declarations is not a very British thing to do but I find this incredibly uplifting. Maybe, should I have been American.

13. NOTHING isimpossible with God.

14. Unrealisticexpectations lead to disappointment.

15. I truly can stand firm under severe pressure with the strength of God in me but often I foolishly forget to ask for his strength.

16. People needsupport. No matter how talented, strong, intelligent and sorted you are. People need people.

17. Man's rejectionis often God's protection. It's cheesy but true.

18. Worry isincredibly infectious and it doesn't work.

19. God has perfecttiming; never early and never late. It takes a lot of
patience and a little faith to wait without whinging.

20. Jesus is awesome. If you don’t know, get to know. If youknow him, get to know him more.

Happy New Year everyone!

TEDxTeen - Natalie Warne - Anonymous Extraordinaries

2011-12-29T07:58:00.000-08:00

I stumbled across this moving video earlier today on TED.com

I'm reminded of the true power of persistence.

THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY

2011-12-22T16:29:00.001-08:00

Aswe approach Christmas day, I've been thinking a lot about Mary. I'veattended two nativity plays this year, so I know that it's easy to see her as acharacter in the school nativity play, but she was a real woman - just likeus. Mary is such great role model. As I ponder on the Christmasstory and see her faith in God; I'm challenged, encouraged and inspired.

Here's three reasons why Mary is a fabulous role model to us women.

1. She was Real:TheBible says: God sent theangel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married toa man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin's name was Mary. Theangel went to her and said, Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord iswith you. Mary was greatly troubled at his words andwondered what kind of greeting this might be. Mary was greatly troubled, not just troubled. It just goes to show thatthe tendency to assume the worst is nothing new. Mary was a real womanwho worried just like we do.

2. She was humble: The Bible says Mary waspledged to be married to Joseph. I'm sure she had her life all planned outuntil God changed the script. Theangel said: "You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are tocall him Jesus. She replied: " How will this be, Mary asked theangel, since I am a virgin? The angel answered, The Holy Spirit willcome on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holyone to be born will be called the Son of God. I am the Lord'sservant, Mary answered. May your word to me be fulfilled. Maryresponded with faith and humbly chose to accept the plan God had for her life. She didn't start demanding her own way - no drama!

3. She had self -belief: I'msure there were plenty of experienced mothers to choose from. I find it really interesting that God chose an inexperiencedmother to raise Jesus with Joseph. I admire the way Mary didn'tallow herself to be defined by her past experience and disqualify herself fromthe call to be the mother to the son of God. Her self-belief is a awesome. There's a lot we women can learn from Mary.

Wishing you a fun, relaxing and peacefulChristmas!

TUNE OF THE DAY! Jesus Culture - One Thing Remains

2011-12-19T10:01:00.000-08:00

LET YOUR EMOTIONS SUBSIDE AND THEN DECIDE!

2011-12-08T16:39:00.000-08:00

One thing that I admire about men is the way they don’t often let their feelings get the better of them. I saw this played out with a male friend as he weighed up the pros and cons of rekindling a relationship with his ex-girlfriend. I was stunned when he shared how he had decided to ignore his feelings in the decision-making-process and focus on the facts. I’ve never known any of my female friends to put their feelings to one side in this way. In my experience the decision to rekindle a relationship with an ex-boyfriend is usually heavily influenced by how you feel.
Do we women need to man-up? While thinking about this question, It dawned on me why I always cherish my brother’s life advice in times of trouble. I realised that his view always usually diverts my focus on to the facts of the situation and far away from my feelings. Often my feelings aren't even rooted in truth. There is no point allowing how I ‘feel’ about a situation to swallow up the truth. Feelings are good and they have their place, but there are times in life when allowing our feelings to completely direct our responses and reactions is unhelpful.

I’ve noticed that as much as I adore my journalism career; it’s a career path of peaks and troughs. There are days when I feel so ecstatic, literally on top of the world, when I’ve just emailed an idea for an article to an editor. Then when he or she doesn’t respond to my email within the 120 second timescale I’ve set; I feel deeply disheartened for hours. Then a few days later when I receive a reply in my in box, I feel all whirly again. It's hilarious!
Editors are busy people and my email is just not the most important email in their inbox. As a new journo, it’s actually more important for me to practice staying calm, cool and collected. I always enjoy watching veteran journalists keep their cool under pressure.
Maybe we women don’t really need to man-up but practice controlling our emotions; especially around that time of the month when our hormones are raging. 'Let emotions subside and then decide' says Joyce Meyer, one my favourite preachers. She argues that when we make choices based on our emotions, we often live to regret it. In the book of proverbs, the Bible teaches us that it is better to have self-control than to conquer a city. (Proverbs 16:32) This shows us the enormous value of self-control. I'm not quite sure why self-control is such hard work for us humans; all I know is that it's one muscle that I'm looking to strengthen in 2012.

"I will wait for you" by Poet JANETTE IKZ

2011-11-28T18:21:00.000-08:00

This is my poem of the day. I love this woman- she' s awesome!

15 Questions Christian women need to ask a man before getting involved

2011-11-09T12:02:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure about number 10 and 13 but he raises some valid points!!!

Lecrae - Wait (Intro) Tune of the day (part one)

2011-11-06T17:42:00.000-08:00

Lecrae - Wait - Tune of the day! Part two

2011-11-06T17:34:00.000-08:00

This song is for all the single girls in the city waiting for Mr Right!

NO PAIN, NO GAIN!

2011-10-26T13:28:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make: I’ve been flirting with the idea of giving up my blog. It’s been a long while since my last proper post and I seem to have struggled massively with consistency this year. I couldn’t help but wonder; if I completely disappeared from the blogosphere, would anyone even notice that I was gone? I enjoy blogging but posting regularly is hard work, particularly when my things-to-do list is as long as the river Thames! “Never make a major decision when you are HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired),” a preacher once told me. I remembered this quote and realised that I was entertaining giving up my blog because I was incredibly tired. With this in mind, I decided to carry on because in life it’s good to persevere through personal challenges ESPECIALLY when we feel like giving up.

As I observe society, I see people who struggle to stay committed to jobs,
education, marriages, businesses, relationships, friendships and churches.
We seem to be a people who are good starters but not so good finishers. There is certainly a time to “give up” but there is also a time to persevere.
It’s usually when the initial flurry of excitement fades that thoughts of giving up begin to rear their ugly head.

How many married couples would still be together if they had just persevered through that tricky rough patch? How many students don't persevere long enough to graduate. And how many people would still be Christians if they had resisted the temptation to quit when their faith was tested? None of us are immune from discouragement!

Left to my own devices I tend to gravitate towards the path of least pain.
But as the saying goes: "No pain, no gain." I’m learning that when I’m disheartened I can choose the pain of perseverance or the pain of regret.
Is it just me or do you feel like life is war? There are battles everywhere; both internal and external ones. To persevere means to try hard and continuously in spite of obstacles and difficulties which we all face. Perseverance is hard work which is why we are quick to give up on our goals.

Queen of Perseverance

One lady who inspires me is Arianna Huffington (right), she oozes perseverance from every pore.

Arianna is one of the co-founders of internet newspaper The Huffington Post. At 23 her first book, The Female Woman, was published and she went on to write a second book which was rejected by 36 publishers. I repeat, 36 publishers, but she refused to believe that she wasn’t a writer, a determination reflected in her brilliant career.

Today, there are people all over the world fighting for justice against human trafficking, pushing for change within the pornography industry, campaigning for better services for abused children and pestering MP’s over laws that are unjust. I’m sure there are times they feel like giving up the fight. I thank God for each one them and their perseverance. I don’t think I was ever really serious about giving up my blog; I enjoy it far too much. I will continue to fight the battle of inconsistency because I WILL win! Perseverance is not just for Olympic athletes that's for sure.

TUNE OF THE DAY! Rooftops by Kim Walker @ Jesus culture

2011-10-25T16:13:00.000-07:00

I love this song!!! Enjoy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jesus shows up at Oprah's Legends Ball

2011-10-24T04:12:00.000-07:00

PICTURE OF THE DAY!

2011-10-10T11:43:00.000-07:00

WHY ARE WE WOMEN SO HARD ON OURSELVES?

2011-09-07T13:25:00.000-07:00

Right. I’m glad you’re here, because I want to ask you a question.

Why are we women so hard on ourselves? I say “we” because I admit that I have the tendency to be waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too hard on myself and from what I have observed of the wonderful women in my life - I know that I’m not alone.
I mention all this because earlier today, I was thinking about an article I read in Femail magazine. Professor Kristen Neff explored why women are often super self-critical, unable to take compliments and far too focused on their own failings. Sound familiar? If we women truly are the gentler sex, then why are we not more gentle on ourselves when we don't manage to cross off every task on our things-to-do list.
Prof Kristin Neff said: “The message we receive from the larger culture is loud and clear: other people are more important than yourself. You should be generous and forgiving towards others but punish yourself mercifully when you get it wrong.” The thought of women punishing themselves mercifully sounds rather vicious. The problem is that this tendency to be way too hard on ourselves is subtle; you’re probably unaware that you’re doing it. It’s always harder to break a bad habit that you’re unconscious of, right?
Often, I’ll be chatting away to a girlfriend, unknowingly beating myself up about some unrealistic or self-imposed expectation that I failed to meet when she’ll utter: “Selena, you’re human” or “Selena, you’re being way too hard on yourself”. But doesn’t it just feel grim when you get it wrong, miss the mark or when you let someone you love down. Or worst of all, let yourself down. Don’t ya just hate it!
Being punished or disapproved of for getting it wrong is wired into our belief system from an early age. Are we just picking up from where our parents and teachers left off? Did the punishment we received as little girls leave us devoid of self-love and patience for ourselves? I once challenged a young female writer who was giving herself a thumping about her blog not being “excellent enough”. “Why are you being so hard on yourself?” I enquired. She replied: “I am an over-achiever, which means that if I’m not beating myself up about my writing, it will just be something else”. Her response unnerved me because whose standard was she measuring herself against, and is this standard even achievable? Maybe it’s time to exchange this tendency to be way too hard with a little more self-love and compassion. Maybe, it really is time to stop being so hard on ourselves. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to live under the evil regime of unachievable standards or unrealistic expectations of myself and give myself a beating when I fail to meet the grade.
It's hardly the end of the world if I don't manage to cross off every task on my things-to-do list, or eat the recommended five-a-day of fruit and veg.
In an interview this week for The Sunday Times Style magazine, Sarah Jessica Parker said: "Things-to-do lists don’t work for humans, we are more complicated than that." She has a point about us being complicated but I love writing lists. I mean, they do work for some humans, don't they?

MENTAL SNACK: STAYING MENTALLY HEALTHY BY JULIO MELARA

2011-08-24T04:15:00.000-07:00

Julio Melara

A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes." - Ghandi

Are you conforming to the world’s thinking which is limited, cynical and negative? Or are you renewing your mind daily by thinking positive and imagining possibilities, opportunities and solutions? Feeding our mind a healthy diet of education, inspiration and motivation and having the right perspective on life leads to personal resiliency. Whether well known or unsung, successful people have at least one common denominator that is right thinking. Our thoughts shape our lives; for as we think in our hearts so we are, an ancient scripture says.

One of the world's foremost experts on optimism and motivation is Dr. Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania. In his book, Learned Optimism, he suggests that depression is primarily the result of wrong thinking. After years of research, he wrote, "Depression is caused by conscious negative thoughts." He went on to say, "Emotion comes directly from what we think: Think, ‘I am in danger,’ and you feel anxiety. Think loss and you feel sadness." He gives lots of examples in his book but the point is, if we change these habits or thoughts, we will cure seasons of depression, discontentment and discouragement.

Today, I want to encourage you and remind you that in order for your brain to think clearly, sustain a positive attitude and for your emotions to stay calm and steady, we need strong minds. That only happens as you transform your mind on a daily basis. Not once a month or every quarter but every day. What you dwell on, you empower and enlarge. Good always multiplies when you dwell upon it, but so does negativity. Which do you want more of? The choice is yours!

For more Mental Snacks from Julio, check out his website juliomelara.com

DO WE HAVE MORE IN COMMON WITH THE RIOTERS & LOOTERS THAN WE'D LIKE TO ADMIT?

2011-08-19T03:34:00.000-07:00

Source:http://photoshoplooter.tumblr.com./

London still feels weird. The riots unleashed fear, dread and anxiety and the residue is still lingering in the air. A few of the stores where I live were looted and it just felt eerie to see them closed and boarded up. The media images of the utter chaos on the streets of my city seemed surreal.

I had an interesting conversation with some teenage boys who live opposite my apartment block. I’ve recently befriended them, so that they can give me quotes and insights for features or blogs, in exchange for the use of the swimming pool and Jacuzzi in my apartment complex. Yes, I have a swimming and Jacuzzi! I asked the boys if they were involved in the riots. They both shared how they were invited by their peers to join the looting but they declined. As we walked to the leisure centre I probed further with a flurry of questions: “Were you tempted to go?” “What stopped you?” and “What do you think of all that has happened?” I continued to fire questions and to my shock, I found Jesus! When all was said and done, it was the Christian values that had been instilled in them since leaving the womb 15 years ago, that prevented them from looting. It was refreshing to chat to some teenage boys, strong enough not to succumb to the heat of the peer pressure cooker.

Although there’s no healing in blame, I do agree with the Bishop of Manchester who said the “relentless erosion of Christian values” were to partly to blame for the riots. Talking of Christian values, the sermon at church on Sunday was brilliant. The message was from the Old Testament book of Esther and we looked at what we can learn from her life about living out our faith in God, in a Godless culture. Talking about the riots, the speaker said: “The Bible doesn’t give us stories of good people and bad people but flawed, weak, morally conflicted, confused people and a good God. It’s important to remember this, especially after the events of the last week. While dividing the world into good guys and bad guys and heroes and villains works well for Hollywood blockbusters, real life just doesn’t work like that. There maybe many voices telling us the world is split into “them and us” but the Bible makes it clear that we share a common humanity. We are all made in the image of God and we all have the capacity for great good but also all us are fallible! Not just the kids on the estates, not just the rioters and looters, all of us have the capacity for wickedness. We have more in common with the young kids and adults who rioted and looted than we would like to admit. The truth is that if you and I would have been born to different parents, in a different time, into different community that could have easily been us.”

The mayhem in London last week was wrong. I can see why the public are so

outraged at all that went on, but I can not agree with people being thrown out

of their council homes and I won’t be signing the petition trying to justify it.

Britain

has a justice system that deals with criminal behaviour and I don’t

understand why local councils are getting involved. Surely, that just makes the

problem worse. It’s yet another example of the big gap between rich and

poor. Those convicted of rioting could lose their council homes but if you are

convicted and you or your parents own your home, you’re fine. That’s justice?

The riots have definitely brought the social problems in London out from the

darkness into the light and I look forward to see what good comes as a result.

A Facebook status from a London community leader on my news feed really

inspired me: “We need to spend less time following the news, speculating on

the news, and more time following our youths and helping them to focus on

their future.”

RIP AMY WINEHOUSE

2011-08-05T06:04:00.000-07:00

Photo: People

For the first time in a very long time, the front page splash of The Sun on Friday was good news. “Amy Winehouse's Camden Home to be Rehab HQ” screamed the headline. Is it just me or do you get the feeling that everything just seems so rushed? I mean, especially since the cause of her death still hasn't even been confirmed! It’s all just so so sad. It was disturbing to read some of the public reaction to the rehab HQ news; some people posted incredibly inappropriate tweets:

@D_Belkin said: "I think I need the help of the AmyWinehouseFoundation after choking on my vomit upon discovering the existence of the Winehouse Foundation"

@oh_her said: "wow ppl are still talking about winehouse? whats the big deal? she was gonna die sooner or sooner"

@JustAFanOfAFan said: "AmyWinehouse's house being turned into a rehab, it's basically jus gunna be like a treasure hunt for the patients"

I call this the dark side of social networking. Before Amy Winehouse was a pop starlet, well known for her beehive, thick black eyeliner, chart topping hits and her battle with alcohol and drugs, she was just Amy! A daughter, granddaughter, niece, sister and friend. Her family and friends are now grieving a loss so deep, that only those who have walked that road will truly be able to comprehend it. As I sorted through some old personal papers the other day, I came across this poem “Introducing Miss Heroin”. I recognised the handwriting belongs to an old friend from my teen days. Her mum was addicted to heroin back then, but thankfully nowadays she's free. I'm still a little baffled as I don't remember how I ended up with it. It's an incredibly old poem but at the same time it's the heart-breaking reality for many people all around the world enslaved to drugs like heroin. I'm not sure of the author but I thought I’d share it anyway.

So now, little man, you've grown tired of grass, L.S.D., acid , cocaine, and hash and someone pretending to be a friend
Said, "I'll introduce you to Miss Heroin."
Well honey, before you start fooling with me,
just let me inform you how it will be.
For I will seduce you and make you my slave;
I've sent men much stronger than you to their grave.
You think you could never become a disgrace
and end up addicted to poppy seed waste.
So you'll start inhaling me one afternoon;
you'll take me into your arms very soon.
Then once I have entered deep down into your veins,
the craving will nearly drive you insane.
You'll need lots of money (as you have been told).
For, darling, I'm much more expensive than gold.
You'll swindle your mother and just for a buck,
you’ll turn into someone vile and corrupt.
You'll mug and you'll steal for my narcotic charms,
And feel contentment when I'm in your arms.
The day when you realise the monster you've grown,
you’ll solemnly promise to leave me alone.
If you think that you've got the mystical knack,
then, sweetie, just trying getting me off your back.
The vomit, the cramps, your gut tied in a knot,
the jangling nerves screaming for just one more shot.
The hot chills, the cold sweat, the withdrawal pains,
Can only be saved by my little white grains.
There's no other way and there's no need to look,
for deep down inside you will know you are hooked.
You'll desperately run to the pusher and then,
you’ll welcome me back into your arms again.
And when you return (just as I foretold)
I know that you’ll give me your body and soul.
You'll give up your morals, your conscience, your heart;
and you will be mine til death do us part!

PHONE HACKING IN THE CITY

2011-07-27T16:13:00.000-07:00

Photo: thisislondon.co.uk

Did you see the spoof trailer for Hackgate: The Movie? The drama, shock and suspense of the phone hacking media firestorm have all the hallmarks of a blockbuster film. I’m sure there are film writers in Hollywood pitching scripts as I write this week’s blog at home in my kitchen.

As I watched Wendy Murdoch jump to her feet and defend her husband against attack, I knew that she had unknowingly secured a role for herself in the film. Now, here’s a woman who took her marriage vows to love, honour and protect her husband very seriously.
One thing that I enjoyed about the scandal was watching the Culture and Media committee question the top bosses at News International, because I learnt more about the world of newspapers, listening to Rebekah Brooks answer their probing questions. Brooks had been a role model of mine since getting into journalism. Before I ventured down the journalism path, I’d never really had career role models per se. Nowadays I have eight or nine and I like to learn from them, and follow their careers and articles.
A week before I did work experience at The Sun which was the daily sister newspaper to the weekly News of the World. In my attempt to practice my investigative journalism skills, I explored the history of Britain’s biggest selling daily newspaper. I researched the career paths of the reporters and editors and this was where I came across the inspiring story of Rebekah Brooks. I discovered a determined female journalist who clearly knew what she wanted and pursued it. Before her shock resignation two weeks ago, she worked as the Chief Executive at News International which is not bad for someone who started her career as a News of the World secretary, working her way up to features writer, then deputy editor and editing both the News of the World and The Sun.

As an aspiring journalist, I couldn’t help but be encouraged by her career, so to hear the news that she had been arrested on suspicion of phone hacking and corruption was disappointing to say the least. Okay, I know that tabloid journalism is often called the 'gutter press' but the truth is that tabloid papers actually do alot of good in society like campaigning for change. I know you’re probably rolling your eyes right now, but it’s true!
Rebekah Brooks told the parliamentary committee that she knew nothing of the evil at the News of the World and therefore she is innocent until proven guilty. For me, the words ‘phone hacking’ and ‘corruption’ just taint her inspirational story of climbing all the way to the top of the News International tree.
Last week as the media firestorm continued to burn, I was flicking through my Bible and I stumbled across this verse: “The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out” (Proverbs 10:9) which is obviously in the Bible for a good reason as a warning to us all.

CALM, COOL & COLLECTED

2011-07-01T10:25:00.000-07:00

Joyce Meyer - Bible teacher!

In life there is some knowledge that must shared; information that I just can not possibly keep to myself. With this in mind I thought I’d let you in on some of the incredible teaching on inner peace that I just heard from Joyce Meyer. I’ve just finished listening to her teaching series Calm, Cool & Collected.
It’s crammed with practical advice on staying unruffled and peaceful in the midst of the day-to-day stresses we all face. A glass of wine or a few spliffs can provide a counterfeit peace but it won't last. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines peace as “a state of tranquillity or quiet and freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions.” Doesn’t that sound superb? Here's my notes from the talk:

KNOW THE VALUE OF PEACE

Do you see the value of having a peaceful mind? Like all things in life, if you are unaware of the value of something you won’t treasure or fight for it.

WHO, WHERE, WHY, WHEN & WHAT ROBS YOU OF PEACE OF MIND?

Keep a record of exactly what steals your peace of mind and look for workable solutions.

TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR PEACE

Are you are sitting around waiting for the people and the world around you to change before you have peace of mind? Wake up and smell the Kenco!

We live in an imperfect world with imperfect people. We can’t control the economy, government or what other people think, say and do but over time we can learn to control our responses and reactions.

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT

If you truly want to be a beacon of peace and a non-anxious presence to your colleagues, friends and family then you will have to choose it and have it on purpose. Practice, practice practice!

WORRY IS POINTLESS

It’s normal and healthy to be concerned about circumstances and situations in your life, however often there’s a razor thin line between concern and worry. Worrying is usually unproductive and often a waste of time and emotional energy, instead stay calm and look for solutions.

TRY THE 20 PERCENT RULE

Often everything takes a little longer than you thought it would but having enough time to complete tasks definitely helps reduce anxiety. Whenever you feel as if you may end up racing against the clock, a good rule of thumb is to allow 20 percent more time than you think you'll need.

IT WILL ALWAYS BE SOMETHING

Some days it feels like, "it's always something". Just when you solve one problem, another is usually waiting around the corner to take its place.
That’s life eh?

GOD IS GOOD, GRACIOUS & GLORIOUS

Christians are supposed to believe in God and his goodness. In the words of my friend Sasha Taylor: “what’s the point of being a Christian if you don’t trust God?” Since God is a relational God and not the old man with white hair in the sky, the more you get to know him, surely, the more you will grow to trust him.

To taste Calm, Cool & Collected click (here) and to purchase click (here)

TURNING 30!!

2011-06-10T07:08:00.000-07:00

This morning I found myself thinking about the newly-wed Justine Thornton, wife of Labour leader Ed Miliband. At her wedding a few weeks ago Justine, 40, shared how as a little girl she had imagined that she would be married with two kids by the time she was 30 and not 40. I discovered that as I turned 30 last month, my life did not look how I had imagined it would. I was not in any way prepared for just how much sadness would be dispensed as I hit the big three zero. The days leading up to my birthday were hard, every time the thought of actually being thirty entered my head, I felt tearful. For a start, it felt horrid to wake up on my 30th birthday unemployed! I always hated working on my birthdays but this year, it would have been heaps more fun to bring cakes into the office and celebrate rather than waking up jobless and almost penniless.

I don’t know why but 30 just seems like I’m officially a grown up. Of course, I know it had to happen sometime but suddenly it’s like there’s no more excuses for not having my life completely sorted and struggling to keep up with things like my house admin.

Surely, one should really have life sorted by now. I shared my anguish with my 32-year-old girlfriend and her response surprised me. She said: “I don’t know anyone around our age with their life sorted”. She explained how many of her friends were battling feelings of “society shoulds”. Thinking that they “should” be on the property ladder or they “should” be in a long-term relationship. She shared how one of her friends who's in her thirties and on the property ladder but had recently become unemployed, so instead of doing a cartwheels and celebrating her bricks and mortar she was struggling with the horror of sleepless nights wondering how she was going to keep up with the mortgage payments. I know I’m not alone in believing that by the age of thirty, one should have life should be sorted but is it just case of unrealistic expectations leads to disappointment?

In her book Sex and the Soul of a Woman Christian counsellor Paula Reinhart says: “The truth is that every woman I know, myself included, lives with some very real unmet needs in her life-ones that tug at the heart daily. It may be childlessness, a dead–end career, a difficult marriage or a host of other wounds-but trust me, it’s there. No one comes through this life unscathed.”

A few hours before my actual birthday celebration, I thought long and hard about my twenties, the good and the bad and the damn ugly. The excruciating pain of my folly- the drunken casual sex, drugs, fashion fauxs and the frustration of doing day-to-day life as a budding atheist.

I felt quite relived to enter a brand new chapter of my life and leave the bad experiences well and truly all in past. To be totally honest with you, I’m not entirely convinced that my life will ever be completely sorted; maybe I’ll just spend the rest of my days sorting it out. In the meantime - I’ll work on keeping my expectations for every area of my life in line with reality and staying away from "society shoulds".

After he ordered the killing of Osama bin Laden, can Barack Obama be a role model for black kids?

2011-05-27T06:47:00.000-07:00

Guess what I've been up to?.......writing about all aspects of urban life for the Telegraph - check out my blogs!

DEBATE: IS MARRIAGE OUTDATED?

2011-05-14T13:20:00.000-07:00

There were whispers that fashion designer Sarah Burton from Alexander McQueen had won the commission for Kate Middleton’s wedding dress. However the Palace hadn’t confirmed, which meant the guesswork spread like wildfire among journalists. I was relieved when the speculation was over as Kate Middleton stepped out from the Goring Hotel and it was confirmed live on tv, that her wedding dress was indeed by Sarah Burton. I thought her dress was gorgeous – classic but chic and the attention to detail was fantastic.

I found the service biblical and beautiful, my personal highlight was watching the father of the bride take his daughter by the hand and walk her down the longest aisle in all the land. I was tempted to join the thousands celebrating on the streets of London but in the end I decided to watch the ceremony on TV along with my Mum and two billion others. One social commentator said: “The royal wedding was like the world cup for women.” As I sat and watched William and Kate they looked so in love. Marriage seemed so exciting and relevant however I’m aware that many people often argue that marriage is totally outdated in a 21^st century world. The number of weddings held last year was the lowest since 1895, when our population was half what it is now- apparently this is down to moral laxity and selfishness.
BC (before Christ) I probably would have gravitated towards the ‘marriage is outdated’ camp. My parents never married and as a young girl in the city, I grew up with hardly any weddings and marriage around me which probably formed most of my views towards the marriage institution. Sadly, I’d never met anyone to challenge my views until I met some pro–marriage Christians and through them two things really struck me. Firstly, marriage is great for society and children. From my observation, marriage and commitment does strengthen families and bring stability. If you do the maths - it’s easy to see that stable families can create stable children who grow to be stable adults. Of course, there are couples co-habiting who are much more committed to each other than married couples, however research shows that they often fail to go the distance. The couples that do are the exception rather than the rule which often leads to single-parent families.

A recent report by The Centre for Social Justice think tank revealed how 46 cent of children in the UK are now born to unmarried mothers.

A child in a single-parent family is 75 per cent more likely to struggle at school, 70 per cent more likely to become addicted to drugs, 50 per cent more likely to develop a drinking problem and 35 per cent more likely to be unemployed in adulthood which shows how marriage is good for the city and raising children. Secondly, I always wondered why so many marriages end in the divorce court and there are many reasons for this but I’m learning that all marriages need support. I often hear people say that getting married is easier than staying married.
For all marriages to grow strong enough to weather the storms that they will all inevitably face, they definitely need to be supported by the wider community, i.e me and you. Watching my newly-wed friends in action, I see the fragility of the marriage commitment. We don’t live in a society where marriages are honoured and cherished by everyone. The night before the royal wedding, I listened to a radio debate, the presenter asked listeners if they actually cared about the royal wedding or if they couldn’t care less. One caller shared how earlier that day he had put a one hundred pound bet on that the royal couple will be divorced in seven years. His comment made me think that maybe the divorce stats would be a little lower if we lived in a nation where people (married and singletons) held marriage in high regard, and where everyone was committed to supporting marriages. It’s easy to think marriage is just hassle, risky, problematic, painful and outdated in a 21^st century world but if I start from God’s point of view I see marriage as His idea and His chosen way to fill the earth with people. To say that marriage is outdated is kind of like saying that God got it wrong which is a bit of an insult to God, who is a whole lot wiser than us humans. I’m learning that marriage is designed for our good and our protection which reveals a little about the character of God. Marriage will no doubt continue to transcend time and culture. It always has and it always will. Unlike wedding dresses which are in fashion one season and out the next.

What To Do In The Process And The Storm -Prophetess Tera Carissa

2011-05-02T13:27:00.000-07:00

FIVE GALS, ONE FAITH, ONE CITY

2011-04-23T15:05:00.000-07:00

Allow me to introduce Louisa, Miranda, Sasha, Gemma and Vivian.
To celebrate Easter I asked five of my fabulous friends to share what difference faith in God makes to their lives in the city?

Louisa Hayford, 30, London

“Some people say Londoners are the rudest people in

Great Britain

and I agree. Of course, I don't mean all Londoners but I lived in LA for a few months and the people were much friendlier but maybe that’s down to the warmer weather. To be honest, I find Londoners can be alittle cynical, selfish and cold. I’m not naturally a cold person but being around this day in and day out affects me.

My faith in God reminds me that I’m not to emulate cold Londoners and let society shape me and the way I treat people. When I read God’s word in the Bible, I see what I can be like and the type person He wants me to be like. There are instructions for every area of my life. For example, the Bible says I must be ‘quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.’ It’s a guideline and I strive to live like this especially in my relationships. My faith in God means this city won’t destroy the best parts of me.”

Miranda Holt, 23, London

“It’s taken me years to feel unconditionally loved by God. I finally know the love the Bible teaches that God has for everyone. I always knew it in my head, but now I know in my heart that I’m unconditionally loved and accepted by God and it makes a big difference in my life. I just feel really secure in His love and I just know that everything in my life is going to be ok, even though things might not turn out the way I planned. I have discovered that the more I experience God’s love in my life, the more love I seem to have for others around me and the less I feel fearful and afraid of people who don’t like me or who may have a bad opinion of me. God’s love is the main love in my life and the love that I’m most aware of everyday. One of my favourite verses in the Bible is where God says, ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love.’ It reminds me that His love is secure, pure and unconditional not like a human love or the love of a boyfriend that can be taken away.”

Sasha D Taylor, 36, London

“Last year, I gave up my job security working as a teacher to do supply teaching instead. I wanted to follow my dream and give talks to encourage disheartened Christian women who are feeling discouraged in their faith. Leaving my job means that I can be more flexible with my time but it’s a drop in income. This means that I no longer get paid the same amount each month or throughout school holidays. During the gaps between each teaching job, I trust that God will provide for my needs. I’m inspired by the people in the Bible when I read how God provided for them in supernatural ways. Since leaving my secure job 18 months ago, God hasn’t let me down and all my bills have been paid. In the Bible, God says he’ll never leave me or forsake me and it’s not always easy to live by faith but I believe Him. Without my faith, I would have been too worried about money to leave my job. Now I’ve learnt that God is my source not my job. I can’t rely on job security as a job can be taken away. At the end of the day, if I can’t trust God then what’s the point of being a Christian?”

Gemma Le Tissier, 22, London

“I used to live with the biggest fear of failure and it just got worse the more I achieved. I did really well at school, which meant that I felt under pressure to succeed in order to please everyone around me. However, because of my relationship with God I know He has an amazing plan for my life and is in control of everything whether I pass or fail. While writing my dissertation for my degree, I felt God equipped me to handle the stress and stay calm. So many of my student friends were having panic attacks and threatening to quit the course.
They came to me and I was able to help them out because I had finished my dissertation three weeks before our deadline. I know I could never have written my dissertation or completed my course without my relationship with God. My faith in God means I know that I'm unconditionally loved by him whether I achieve academically or not.”

Vivian Obanobi, 30, London

“My faith in God has changed the way I see my money. Before I was a Christian, I was all me, me, me, what can I buy for me. I saw my pay cheque as all my money but now I see it as the money God has given me, it’s His money! God has blessed me with so much and is so generous to me. My faith has made me more aware of the needs of others around me and I look for ways I can meet those needs sometimes financially but in other ways too. It took a long time to study and fully understand what the Bible teaches about money but now I get it and my priorities have changed. I'm no longer constantly chasing the ‘it’ item of the month. I used to budget to buy clothes every month, now I don’t. I just buy replacement items rather than ‘it’ items. On payday, I give ten percent of my gross salary to God at church before I pay my bills and that’s the minimum that I give away each month. I really enjoy giving money to God and contributing towards funding community projects my church is running. Faith in God has changed my heart towards giving and it’s so freeing. I used to be incredibly money obsessed which is the opposite of freedom. My faith in God means that instead of having a Vivian-centred attitude to money, it’s God-centred.”

GOODBYE WINTER!

2011-04-16T06:53:00.000-07:00

Photo: Quality knitwear (click here)

It didn’t occur to me until last week that spring has arrived. All around the city, gals will be putting away their opaque tights. Soon there will be a surge of colour in London -as vivid, bright and bold colours begin to dominate the streets . Although I prefer autumn/winter fashion, I look forward to spring as it brings colour and not just the fashion; I love the pretty flowers that spring up all around the city.

The change in the weather calls for a change of clothes - it’s reminder that life is all about seasons. So, it’s a new season in the city and a new season in my personal life too. I’ve finally completed my journalism qualification after spending the past six months immersed in text books and study. I’m thrilled to leave all the pressure of revision and exams behind as I join the hordes of new journalists looking for jobs and freelance work to show of our new skills.

There are many circumstances in life that propel us into a new season ie. becoming a Christian, starting a new job, studying for a qualification, re-locating to a new country, embarking on a new relationship or dealing with the end of a relationship, saving for a mortgage, illness, getting marriage and having children etc. Often, it can take me a good few months of battling with frustration until it dawns on me that I’m in a new season and some of my old ways of doing things simply will not work. New seasons ultimately mean certain things will need to change in the same way that wearing thick opaque tights in the height of summer doesn’t work. Of course, it doesn’t mean we’ll never wear them again, they are just not required in for that season. Spring and summer is all about warmer weather, ice- cream, picnics in the park, summer festivals, barbeques, trips to the beach, flip-flops and outdoor swimming in the city - none of these things work as well in winter.

I’m in a low income season of life which means that over the past few months I’ve chosen to make a few lifestyle adjustments. So, I’ve exchanged my mobile phone contract which had hundreds of minutes for a pay-as-you-go phone with hardly any minutes. I’ve exchanged my beloved car for the bus.
I miss driving my car my so much – it aches but changes had to be made.
On the flip side, I’ve got more time to blog in this season which is awesome. Thank you so much to all my regular readers who have stuck with me during my irregular blogging - I’m looking forward to getting back to my weekly blogging from now on. Maybe life is about adjusting to the change of seasons and being able to detect the lifestyle tweaks that maybe required as our circumstances are continually shifting.

Last month the most caring email arrived in my inbox from girlfriend who is aware of my financial situation. She wrote: “What are your bank details? I want to pay some money into your bank account today so that you can buy some healthy whole foods; you need to eat more energy foods while you revise for your exams.” She taught me that changing my diet was required during the exam stress. Certain seasons of our lives can leave us hugely vulnerable to eating junk food to save time. Through my exam stress - I learnt that the challenging seasons of our lives can feel a little like a cold bitter winter but even winter doesn’t last forever. The Bible teaches there is a specific time for everything and a particular season for every activity under heaven. (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX, BABY!

2011-03-22T05:58:00.000-07:00

click on article to enlarge.

This is the article I blogged about in my last post, At last, I get my Cinderella story.

It was published in mission catalyst a magazine for Church leaders.

Leave a comment below and let me your thoughts.

To comment : click below where it says 0 comments, write your comment in the leave your comment box, scroll down to name/url, leave your name then click publish your comment.

AT LAST, I GET MY CINDERELLA STORY

2011-02-28T06:49:00.000-08:00

Some people say that if you find a career that you love, don’t worry about working unpaid for a while because the money will come. I worked for eight months unpaid at my local newspaper getting work experience last year and there were times it felt I would never be paid. Last week I received my very first pay cheque for my writing. After two years of writing for free it feels superb to finally be paid.

The article was about sex outside marriage for a magazine for church pastors. Initially my gal who is working on the publication contacted me to ask if I knew of any great writers who would be up for writing a piece on sex and then she said: “You’re a talented writer, you could do it”. In the midst of revision and exam-stress, it was actually joy to write.

BC (before Christ) I was the queen of sex outside marriage so if anyone would have told me that one day I would be paid to write an article for church pastors and share my views on why telling Christians to simply just say no to sex is not always productive, I would have laughed my head off. I can hardly take in my faith adventure, only God could do such a thing. Like many gals in the city, I did day-to-day life believing that I wasn’t good at anything in particular and often said to people “I just don’t have a talent.” Little did I know that God had created me full of potential and talents that were hidden away like buried treasure.

I’ve discovered that yes, I’m just one person in a world of billions of people but I like everyone else is created by God with a particular purpose in mind.

My favourite preacher Christine Caine says: “Potential is the difference between what is actual and possible, the unexposed ability, reserved strength and the unused success.” I’m learning that my heritage, skin colour, creativity, personality type, passions, talents, strengths and weakness are all perfect for my purpose. And even the problems in society that sadden and frustrate me are the very things I just know I'm on this earth to help solve. It's so exciting.

On the first day of my journalism training my tutor said journalism is a vocation and not just a job. I sat there thinking what’s a vocation? So I looked it up in the dictionary and it said:a conviction that one is called by God to do a particular kind of work, that one is fitted for it. Journalism just fits like the perfect shoe, no pinching, rubbing or blisters. I feel like Cinderella!

My journalism training has stretched me so much that to say it’s intense is an understatement; I feel totally exhausted with new skills, insights and life-changing teaching on politics and the law. Maybe following your dream career and working unpaid for a while really does pay off in the end.

A GAL'S GUIDE TO A SUCCESS

2011-01-21T14:01:00.000-08:00

I'm alive!! Happy New Year to you, if you were wondering where I’ve been the answer is drowning in revision for my Journalism exams. I found out this afternoon that I passed my News writing exam hip hip hooray! I'm sooooooooo happy, I can't stop smiling. I've got Media Law, Public Affairs and Video Journalism exams next week but I've missed blogging soooooo much that I decided to surgically separate myself from my revision notes. Statistics show that 30% of all resolutions are broken within the first week and most people totally give up before January is over.
Are you thinking of giving up having success in your New Year resolutions? think again!
Here's my round up of quotes to remember for a super successful 2011.
Remember: “The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like and do what you’d rather not,” MarkTwain.

We all want good health in 2011 don’t we? These wise words teach us how we can have success in our health. At the end of the day, we all reap what we sow.

Remember: “A goal without a plan is just a wish,” Antoine de Saint-Exupery.

It’s crazy how often we set ourselves goals and targets without a plan of how we will arrive at our mission accomplished. If you have goals you’re hoping to reach in 2011, don’t forget the planning.

Remember: “You did then what you knew how to do, when you knew better you did better,” Maya Angelou.

Part of being a human is making mistakes and learning from them. Please don’t spend 2011 re-living everything wrong thing you thought, said and did in 2010. It’s a brand new year and none of us can drive forward in life if we are forever glaring in the rear view mirror, right?

Remember: “Since everything is in our heads we had better not lose them,” Coco Chanel.
Everything we think, feel and do starts in our heads. Chances are 2011 won’t be 100% problem-free for us. We are bound to come face to face with challenges and obstacles as we navigate through life. From my experience losing my head makes things worse. In all situations strive to keep your head and choose to stay cool, calm and collected. Deal with troubles as they come up, calmly and methodically.

“Remember to know your monthly cycle,” Veronica Creary
It's a good idea to know when your period is due, this way you can plan in advance and delay taking on enormous projects or difficult conversations during that time of the month when your hormone levels are changing.
For more info on the who, what, where, when of your menstrual cycle click (here)

Remember: “There’s a time to keep silent and time to be speak,”

King Solomon. Ecclesiastes 3:7
Moments of madness, anger, tiredness and stress inevitably brings vulnerability in our words and we end up saying things we later regret. Often our tone of voice can make or break a conversation. This year there will be literally millions of opportunities to speak or stay schtum. When it comes to your words in 2011, whatever you do, just don’t let it all hang out.

Remember: “Once you spend a minute of your time, you never get it back,” Joyce Meyer.

Time is a little like money: there never seems to be enough to do everything you want. Just like money, it’s important to keep an eye on where it’s all going. This year be a good manager of your spare time, spend it wisely.

Remember: “Don’t dread it, just do it,” Joyce Meyer.

Just how many things did you put off last year? Books you wanted to read, the career change or business idea you wanted to explore, that friend you wanted to visit or that pile of papers you wanted to sort through and those clothes you wanted to give to charity. Whatever it is just don’t dread it, just do it!

Remember: “At the end of your life you can either have the pain of discipline or the pain of regret, it’s your choice” Christine Caine.

It’s too easy to get all motivated, pumped up and excited about achieving a new goal only to realise that just like perfume motivation eventually wears off. All a decision does is start the process, it’s daily discipline and determination that will help us push through to success.

Remember: “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary,” Vince Lombardi.

The fabulous news is we can all have success in our relationships, friendships, finances and at work as long as we are willing to put in the work. Often I want success but I’m secretly unwilling to put in the hard work that’s required. There are shortcuts in traffic but there is no shortcuts to true and lasting success in any area if our lives. It takes effort, energy, endurance and hard work.

Remember: “Success needs to be maintained," It's awesome that i've passed my News writing exam but I need to keep it. If I stay teachable and commit to the on going journey of reading, studying and writing news stories if I'll maintaining success in my news writing skill right?

Ok, it's revision o'clock..thanks so much for stopping by.Sending you a virtual hug! xxxxxx

LIFE-ENVY: "I'M NOT GETTING DRUNK THIS CHRISTMAS, AM I MISSING OUT?"

2010-12-17T06:49:00.000-08:00

Christmas day is approaching faster than a speeding train. I always love this time of year, although many people groan on about Christmas becoming too commercialised, I just love the way it brings families together. For many in the city, Christmas is all about parties, shopping, stress, flashing fairy lights, mistletoe and excess eating and drinking. It’s a struggle to believe that CHRISTmas time was once about Jesus.

The marketing team at my local supermarket have been busy; 6ft high stacks of super sized bottles of brandy, Jack Daniels, and vodka are everywhere. It must be tough to do a weekly shop for those in AA as temptation is literally on every aisle. As I watched shoppers stocking up on alcohol for Christmas, I couldn’t help but wonder if I’m missing out? Will my Christmas will be less merry because I won’t be getting drunk? As I walked to Journalism College last week, I overheard a bunch of young pretty city gals laughing about how they were off to crack open a bottle of Champagne to get them in the spirit of Christmas. I felt a pang of life-envy as I remembered how much I used to adore daytime drunkenness at Christmas with my girlfriends BC (before Christ).
Often people assume that as a Christian gal in the city I’m not allowed to drink alcohol which isn’t true, I choose not to drink because as I know myself and I don’t possess the moderation gene, I have the all or nothing one instead! I often watch open mouthed and in awe how some people can just have one glass of wine but that’s not me. So I figured it’s safer not to drink; it’s not worth the risk. The Bible teaches that out of control drunkenness is wrong and I think most people would agree with God on that one. Jesus taught if certain activities cause me to do wrong, cut them out. So that’s what I did. As I sat in my media law lesson I was still in life-envy mode. I started thinking maybe I’m being too extreme cutting out alcohol, I haven’t had a drink in almost two years so maybe a few glasses of sparkling Champagne this Christmas wouldn’t hurt. In my attempt to shake off my life-envy, I decided to meet up with one of my fave girlfriends, it was the 48 hours after her office Christmas party and she was filled with what looked like a mixture of panic and dread about going back to work. The party was a total blur because she had got so drunk, she couldn’t recall much of the evening but she remembered having drunken sex with a married man from her office. My life-envy evaporated. Although Christmas drunkenness can seem like fun at the time, the truth is no one truly wants a hangover or toxic shame.

That night, I put Jesus Christ back into Christmas. Whoooooo! I’d opened the door to life-envy by foolishly forgetting the reason for the season. It’s Jesus’ birthday, yes! I know he probably wasn’t born on 25^th but he was still born. It makes me smile that although he suffered so much opposition for his claim to be the son of God; he was laughed at, rejected, spat on, beaten and brutally murdered on the 25^th of December millions of Christians all around the globe will celebrate his birthday each in their own unique way. They will remember Jesus Christ, the baby boy who was born in a manager, whose birth was so significant it reset the hands of time. He went on to be one the world’s greatest teachers and his timeless teachings and message of a life of hope for those who trust in him is still impacting lives today.He's awesome.
Happy CHRISTmas everyone!

FEATURE: HOMEBOUND

2010-12-04T06:47:00.000-08:00

The thing I LOVE most about journalism is meeting people from all walks of life and listening to their tales. Some say, to know where you’re going in life, you need to know where you’re from.

Is it me or is going back “home” is the thing to do these days? But what actually happens when a Brit goes on the journey back to the place where their parents were raised?

I grew up in London with the Jamaican culture in the background of family life. I, like many first generation people in my position have never been “home”, I can't help but wonder if I am missing out?According to Writer Hannah Pool I am. “It’s incredibly important for first generation people to go home; everyone gains self knowledge and a greater sense of self-respect. It’s incredibly empowering to be somewhere you feel you belong, I’d love to see going home on the national curriculum,” says the author of My Father’s Daughter, a warm funny personal memoir documenting her journey back home to Eritrea.

For many young people, although they grow up immersed in London culture partaking in all the British traditions, when they step through the front door at home they are exposed to foods, music, languages, traditions and annual cultural festivals that provide them with a glimpse of the home of their forefathers. These glimpses play a huge part in building a person’s cultural identity.There are 300 languages spoken in London and around one in three Londoners belong to an ethnic minority group. My life today would look massively different had my parents stayed in Jamaica. I caught up with three Brits to find out more about their experiences of going 'home'.

Victoria Gardener, 33, ventured to Trinidad. She grew tired of the many shocked facial expressions from people whenever she said her father was from Trinidad and she hadn’t been to visit. Victoria set off to Point Fortin a small village in South West Trinidad, where her father grew up. "I stepped off of the plane and the heat hit me for six", she remembers. But more shocking than the heat were the cultural differences discovered by the public sector manager from London.Victoria stayed with family. “It was a big culture shock” she explains. “It was like something out of The Colour Purple,” she says.

“I thought to myself, what the hell is this?” Some of the houses were built from of wood; I was expecting Whoopi Goldberg to come around the corner at any moment.”To add to her woes skin colour fast became an issue, making it difficult for her to relax.“I just felt as though I was being stared at every where I went”, she says. “I felt very self-conscious, everyone was either dark skinned or Asian.” Victoria is mixed-raced; her mother is white-British. Looking back on her journey of discovery realised that there wasn't enough to discover. The exotic Caribbean scenery she dreamed of simply didn’t exist.

“Trinidad is very industrial, it is not a beach destination, and it’s not a place to go swimming and snorkelling.” She soon began craving life in London. “I missed blending in the background without being noticed, I missed my Sky TV, soaps, hairdryer, internet and my friends.”By day four of her two week trip, she was longing to get home.The highlights of her trip was catching up with family members she’d never met and visiting neighbouring country Tobago. “It was beautiful, out of this world. If I hadn't gone there, I would have really considered ringing BA to come home (early)”. Victoria admits she feels no cultural identity connection to Trinidad. “I felt I had to go, I feel better within myself now that I understand where my dad is from and it was nice to see where he grew up, meet my family."But beyond that Victoria says she doesn't see Trindad as her home, although the experience has changed her attitude towards her family.
“Before my trip, I thought of my family members in Trinidad as my Dad’s family, I see them as my family now."

It took 18 months in Kenya for another Londoner, Pambana Kihoro, 27, to discover there was more to his identity. “I think to get a full experience of any homeland you need to spend time there. It’s a good idea to work or volunteer for six months” says the civil servant.

British born Pambana returned to Mombasa in Kenya when he was four, staying for five years before returning back to London. “The schooling system was different to London, seriously painful,(they used) a ruler against the knuckles and they used these bamboo like branches that whipped forward on impact, so basically you get hit on your arse and your hip,” he recalls.
As a teenager, Pambana returned to live in Nairobi for 10 months to re-do his A-levels. It was during this time he gained a better understanding of his identity. Spending time with his peers that brought about the change in his thinking. “I noticed there no real difference between me and them, apart from being born in London. I felt a sense of belonging,” he says.
Although the bulk his life was spent in the UK, Pambana realised that he no longer defined himself as simply black British “From the age of 13, I would have identified myself as British because that’s what my passport said I was, but now I class myself as Kenyan British. Going home helped me to identify with my nationality more than my race.”

Susie Lau, 25, was born in London but her parents are from Hong Kong. Susie, who edits the popular fashion blog Stylebubble, can relate to Pambana’s story. “From the time I was born I went back and forth between Hong Kong and London many times.” Susie says she feels London is ultimately her true home, she never feels homesick in Hong Kong. “It's a treat for me to go to Hong Kong, obviously, but there are little things that I end up missing- silly things like bacon, marmite, vintage shops.” Susie found growing up in London with her Chinese culture in the background of life largely positive. "My parents always ensured I integrated well with my English peers and that I experienced British culture as well as Chinese culture" she says.
Despite this, she found that there were always things that marked her out from her friends at school. "I went to Chinese school on Saturdays so missed out on things like lying in bed and watching Live and Kicking." On the subject of cultural identity she says "It's pretty evenly split between being Chinese and being British. There are parts of me that are very connected to my original culture although most of my identity is influenced by living in London."
Victoria, Pambana and Susie are three Brits with three very different experiences of going 'home'. So it seems as if the experience varies from person to person. If a person is seeking a cultural- identity connection, this is not always to be formed in a one off trip.
One thing is certain is that every person is guaranteed an experience- a journey that will help build relationships with family and exploring culture and heritage.

At the very least, you will return to the UK with a greater understanding of the land of your roots. And talking to Victoria, Pambana, and Susie has inspired me to embark on my own journey home. Jamaica, here I come!!!

MY WEEK AT THE SUN

2010-11-20T11:17:00.000-08:00

IN many professions unpaid work experience is unheard of but to make it in journalism it seems to be vital. I’ve been doing work experience at my local paper since spring and I thought it was time to broaden my horizon and see how they do things on a national newspaper. Last week, I spent five days at The Sun, the biggest selling tabloid newspaper in Britain. If I had to describe my week in two words, I’d say journalism heaven!

Here’s my work experience diary.

Monday
I arrived at The Sun HQ in central London and was immediately greeted with a gorgeous modern multi–storey building. I sat in reception and I watched Sky news on the plasma screen and nervously waited for one of the reporters to come and collect me. After a few moments a young male reporter came introduced himself and took me to the news section.

The office was clean, tidy, bright and fresh. As I sat at a desk and settled in my new surroundings, one of the reporters asked me to write a story for the website on the weather as there were warnings of storms and flooding. Instantly my whole entire body grew tense as the pressure began to mount. I’m desperately trying to master the art of holding my peace while writing to deadlines. I did some research on the weather and wrote it up and before I knew it, my Snow, wind and rain hell for Brits story was published online for readers to view and comment. It was fun to see my name in print on the website. Yippppppeeeeeeee.

Tuesday
Today I was assigned the task of investigating a story from a member of the public. In the paper they encourage readers to sell their stories. I was thrilled that they had trusted me find out the full details. I telephoned the tipster and the information he had for sale was truly scandalous. I asked him to try and get proof before the end of the week and I instantly wanted to share the shocking news with a friend but then it dawned on me that to succeed in this business I need to learn to keep secrets, as challenging as it was I managed to keep it in the walls of The Sun HQ. I felt quite proud of myself. Today I learnt why scandals make the news, they are so damn JUICY.
Wednesday
In the morning I began looking into a story about a Grandmother who had died after doctors missed she was suffering from cancer despite 50 visits. I spoke to her son over the phone and he shared how angry he was with the NHS doctors and how he and his children were dreading the first Christmas without his mother. I felt so sad for them and before I knew it warm salty tears trickled down my cheeks. As I wrote the story, I still felt so sombre and angry at the NHS.

I shared my feelings with a crime reporter and he said: “It’s your job to report their story, it’s okay to sympathise but try to avoid getting too involved.” Today I learnt that medical negligence is awful but news stories have power to save someone else from a similar fate. In the afternoon, student protestors stormed the Tory HQ and as I watched it the mayhem unfold on the TV screens, I was actually glad to be safe in the office rather than out reporting.

Thursday

I’m having so much fun at The Sun (excuse the rhyme) I really don’t want to leave tomorrow.

I'm loving knowing the news before the rest of the world. My desk is located near the hot drinks machine, I quite enjoy writing news whilst drinking creamy hot chocolate and glancing at the beautiful view of the city of London from my desk. Today I continued working on the Cancer missed by docs 50 times story and using my investigative skills, I discovered that a week ago, an elderly cancer patient was evicted from the same hospital and left to fend for himself. How mean is that?

Friday

Today did I wrote two news stories, one on the return of 1980’s childhood disease rickets and the other on how hip replacements are blighting the lives of thousands of people in the UK.

I chased up the tipster to see how he was getting on with obtaining the proof only to discover the story had changed and the scandal wasn't actually true. Urgh! Never mind, these things happen, I tell myself it’s the nature of the job. It's probably a good thing anyway. This afternoon, I feel utterly inspired and refreshed from watching The Sun reporters in action all week. I can see why they are the best selling newspaper in Britain. All the reporters I met seem talented, experienced and hardworking which is a powerful combination. After thinking that I would be inconsolable when handing in my security pass actually I feel ready to leave; my appartment is a mess, I've had no time to tidy up. I need a rest, full-time work is sooooooo exhausting. And I want time to digest my work experience and practice all the new skills I've learnt. Eating lunch for the last time in the swanky canteen, I tucked into a slice of dee-licious banana and walnut sponge cake with warm custard. I looked around and felt like the most blessed budding journalist in the whole wide world.

CHRISTIAN GAL IN THE CITY GOES TO PARLIAMENT

2010-11-06T15:31:00.000-07:00

On the induction day of my journalism training course in back in September, I discovered that we would be visiting The Houses of Parliament. I nearly fell off my chair, I was soooooooo excited. After weeks of waiting finally on Monday, the wait was over.
Oh my goodness, inside the walls of power is like a palace. No wonder it's called the palace of Westminster.
Think, high ceilings, over the top Victorian glamour, carpeted flooring and lots of leather. As I strolled around the House of Commons and then House of Lords with our tour guide, I felt like I had been transported back in time to a life before blogging and blackberries. I find politics fascinating but sadly I've spent most of my adult life totally switched off. I’m looking forward to my public affairs lessons next month. In the meantime, i've been practicing my interviewing skills.
So here is 5 minutes with fellow budding journos Zarah 28 and Kathryn 22.
Ok Zarah, tell me what would you do as Mayor of London for the day?
Zarah: I’d close down the Tate Britain and Modern museums, this way I could visit them both with a few friends and hang out in the gorgeous cafe on the roof of the Tate Modern overlooking St Paul's cathedral.
What's your fave hangout in the city?
Zarah: It depends on the weather, I love picnics on Primrose Hill in the summer and Bario Central for after work drinks, they do great cocktails especially Tommy’s margarita.
If you could interview a famous person dead or alive, who would it be and why?
Zarah: Cleopatra, I’d love to know how she dealt with all those men.
What makes you laugh out loud?
Zarah: Kitle rs they're cats that look like Hitler. (click here)
What’s the best meal you’ve EVER had?
Zarah: Freshly grilled lobster with rice on the beach in Kenya earlier this year.
What was the last film you watched?
Zarah: The Social Network it was the best film I’ve seen in a long time, it definitely lives up to the hype.
What’s your guilty pleasure?
Zarah: The Guardian newspaper crossword but actually I don’t feel guilty, I feel kind of geeky.
If you could be any animal which one would you be and why?
Zarah: I’d like to be an Otter, I love water.
What do you want for Christmas?
Zarah: A Job, a Vivian Westwood winter coat and a trip to the Maldives, I really hope my boyfriend is reading this.
Ok Kathryn; tell me what would you do as Mayor of London for the day?
Kathryn: I'd fill the foundation in Trafalgar Square with melted chocolate and have choirs of young offenders in Victorian period dress, singing "Maybe it’s because I’m a Londoner".

What's your favourite hangout in the city?
Kathryn: Crown Tavern in Farringdon, the staff are nice, I love the cute candles the staff put out in the evening.
If you could interview a famous person dead or alive, who would it be?
Kathryn: Prince Philip, he’d be hilarious. It must be weird living in a royal bubble just because you married someone.
What makes you laugh out loud?
Kathryn: Men walking tiny girlie dogs.
What’s the best meal you’ve EVER had?
Kathryn: Last Christmas we had a turkey and goose roast dinner with two kinds of gravy, two kinds of stuffing. It was yummy!
What was the last film you watched?
Kathryn: This is so embarrassing, The House Bunny. It’s about a Playboy bunny that gets kicked out of the Playboy mansion.
If you could be any animal which one would you be and why?
Kathryn: I’d be a bear, so could hibernate in the winter.
What do you want for Christmas?
Kathryn: Lots of lots of iTunes credit, so I no longer have to steal music and celeb stylist Gok Wan to give me a makeover.
Click (here) to check out Kathryn's blog.

Please note: My next blog post will be this Saturday 20th of November.....

YOU KNOW YOU'RE ALMOST 30 WHEN.....

2010-10-22T12:54:00.000-07:00

Twenty-nine is still young right? I remember turning 16 and discovering that according to the law of the land it was now legal for me to have sex and smoke cigarettes. Aged 17 I started driving lessons. On my 18th birthday came the freedom to buy alcohol and go clubbing in mini skirts. At 21 I got the travel bug and enjoyed many trips aboard. At 25 I fell in love with Jesus. I’m now approaching the end of my twenties and recently it hit me that I’m almost the big three zero.

You know you’re almost 30 when:

You are inspired by the Prime Minister’s wife Samantha Cameron because at aged 39 she gave birth to baby Florence. The pressure to have children in your twenties leaves and hope is now on the horizon. If she can do it, so can you!
You remember listening to your favourite tunes on cassette tapes, reading Sweet Valley High books and dancing to New Kids on the Block at the school disco.
You realise just how many of your mother’s traits you’ve inherited.
You understand the value of true friends!
You discover a grey hair while combing your tresses and realise the aging process has begun.
You find yourself considering a complete career change as your childhood dream job that was buried away suddenly begins to surface.
You can’t be bothered with hellish hangovers or wasting a weekend in bed with a sick bucket.
You prefer running in flats instead of running in heels.
You feel under immense pressure to do something wild and outrageously wacky to celebrate your 30th birthday in style. Parachute jump here we come!
You actually enjoy your own company.
You start to find older men rather attractive. In your twenties you shunned older men but now you’re open to the idea of dating a man in his late thirties or forties.
You prefer reading books to celeb magazines.
You want to work for a child-friendly company with a great pension scheme. Gone are the days of being so easily pleased with a subsided gym membership and free eye tests.
You feel slightly uncomfortable flashing too much flesh, deep down you know it’s time to start covering up.
You often find yourself bypassing the fashion and browsing in the home furnishings when shopping in a department store and secretly you prefer reading the IKEA catalogue to glossy fashion magazines.
You’ve kissed enough frogs and now you actually want to settle down!

Have I missed any off? talk to me, let me know. Leave me a comment. You don't need an account to comment. Click below where it says 0 comments, write your comment in the white comment box then scroll down to name/url, leave your name then click publish your comment...easy peasy

Please note: I'll be blogging fortnightly while i do my Newspaper journalism dipolma, my next post will be on Saturday 6 November!

I'LL BE BACK ON FRIDAY

2010-10-19T15:29:00.000-07:00

Hello to all my regular readers, big big apologies for the lack of blogging over the past few weeks, just to let you know i'm ALIVE and still blogging....my next post will be this week Friday 22/10 -lets catch up then...thanks for stopping by, sending you a virtual hug!
Selena xxxxxx

RANTS & RAVES

2010-10-03T12:51:00.000-07:00

Ooooooooh it's feels damn good to blog again, I've been super busy with my Newspaper journo training that i've hardly had anytime to attend to my blog. I'm learning the art of writing shorthand and it's taking over my whole entire life. This week I want to get a few things of my chest. Here's my round up of what's HOT and what's so NOT.
OK, let's start with what's NOT...

EXCLUSIVE FASHION CLUBS
Unattainable fashion is fast becoming the bane of my life. I loved following London Fashion Week but I feel as if I’ve been teased and taunted with images of garments that are way out of my reach. As I glared at Michael Van Der Ham’s collection of unique vintage dresses in Grazia my heart soared then I saw the £1,195 price tag in tiny writing and my heart sank. I remember back in the good old days when I would see a fabulous dress in a magazine and then buy it, which nowdays seems to be a thing of the past.

CATTY COLUMNISTS

Of recent I’ve noticed how mean columnists can be. In a recent column for the Evening Standard Sasha Slater described Kate Middleton’s sister Pippa as the “younger, prettier sister of the princess in waiting” ouch! And Jan Moir, in her column for the Daily Mail speaking about TV presenter Christine Bleakley said: “Why are her bare legs a different colour from her bear arms? In the coffee bar of life she’s a café noir downstairs and a cappuccino up top.” Us gals should stick together-We need more female solidarity!

THE LOVE OF MONEY
Just when I thought the World Wide Web couldn’t get any more corrupt, I hear a new website has been launched with the sole mission to help 200,000 Londoners have affairs by Christmas. Nice! The hilarious thing is that the founder, Noel Biderman, is happily married with two children. Websites like his are just exploiting people. Mr Biderman hopes to reap a whooping 10 million dirty pound coins from the UK. I can’t help but wonder why anyone would want to give their life to help people on to the path of infidelity. Affairs leads to a conscience filled with guilt, shame, heartbreak and quite often family break down and divorce. Mr Birderman says he’s just reacting to society’s behaviour. The Bible says the love of money is the root to all kinds of evil.

And now for what's HOT...

CHRISTIAN GAL IN THE CITY IN THE PRESS

My blog was featured in Pride magazine last month. Whooo hooooo! Christian Gal in the City in the press, now this is HOT!

SELF-TALK

Talking to ourselves is no longer a sign of insanity which is music to my ears as I’m a huge fan. The experts say self-talk is good for us, according to a recent news story in the Daily Mail. Through a range of tests on volunteers psychologists discovered talking to ourselves actually helps maintain self-control, reduces impulsive behaviour, defuses arguments and improves decision making. Click (here) to read the full story.

CAN I HAVE AND DO IT ALL PLEASE?

Finally we have a book on having and doing it all from a Christian female perspective. Today women are juggling more balls than ever but can we actually have and do it all? Author Christine Caine explores how to have and do our specific ‘all’ in life. The chapters are short and sweet. I read it all in just one week. Click here to read the first chapter online and click here to buy.

COCO CHANEL WASN'T BUILT IN A DAY

2010-09-21T12:44:00.000-07:00

With more than 50 fashion shows taking place over six days, twice a year I’m reminded of how much I adore living in a city where designers have such creativity and fresh ideas oozing out their pores. From the catwalk reports it looks like full length dresses, fringing, abstract prints, knife pleats, seventies flares and platform wedges are the key trends for next spring.

Fashion week always reminds me of my short stint working in Fashion PR, back then it amazed me just how much hard work and late nights goes into preparing a fashion show. Designers spend many months getting their collection ready for Fashion week and it takes a while before they even see their sketches come to life on the catwalk.
It must take alot of patience to work as a designer especially because we live in a world where we can get access to anything in an instant; fame, fashion, food, friends, you name it we can have it. I can’t help but wonder what good having everything instantly is actually doing for us? I hear deferred or delayed gratification is the ability to wait in order to obtain something that one wants. From where I’m standing it looks as if the instant gratification mentality is doing our society no good, everyone from toddlers to adults wants everything right NOW. Along with road rage the new trend is pavement rage as people want to get to their destination NOW.
This week, I noticed how the “I want it now” thinking has managed to spill over to every area of my life. I get fidgety and frustrated in any form of queue and I’ve been known to detest the laptop that I once prayed for if it dares to take a few extra seconds to load. And don’t even get me started on my journalism career: some days I pine like a cute puppy for self-sufficiency. I hate that being a budding journo means that I’m constantly in need help and advice from more experienced journalists. The worst thing is how easy this stinking “I want it now” thinking can infiltrate my relationship with God. Sometimes I get massively impatient if my prayers aren’t answered in an instant. I forget that God isn’t caught up in the super fast-paced London way of life. The Bible is written in a totally different culture to London and now I get why they all seem to have more patience than me. It’s written in an agricultural society where people knew patience and deferred gratification, I suppose like designers they had no choice. I’m thinking that spending some time on a farm would help me develop more paitence or maybe a few months in a Fashion house would do the trick. Building successful Fashion labels, businesses, careers, paying off debt, overcoming addictions, healing from sad experiences, adjusting to life changing transitions all take heaps and heaps of time. There are no short cuts! A wise woman once told me to beware when results happen too quickly as it’s possible they may not last.

It’s not always popular to choose deferred gratification but maybe it’s a part of growing up and sign of maturity. After all, Co Co Chanel wasn’t built in a day!

Talk to me!!! Let me know what you think...you don't need an account to comment.
Click below where it says 0 comments, write your comment in the white comment box then scroll down to name/url, leave your name then click publish your comment...easy peasy!

ROONEY-GATE

2010-09-14T04:01:00.000-07:00

The super-duper talented footballer Wayne Rooney is still taking up much of the headlines this week with the recent allegations surrounding his sex life. I read through some of the reader comments on a tabloid newspaper website. "He's let the country down" said one commenter, Is this a little strong? I can’t help but wonder if we, the British public are expecting way too much from these footballers who are mere mortals. I’m not excusing bad behaviour or in anyway condoning adultery but it’s just that no one ever focuses on the why behind the what. I mean why is the adultery rate sky high in this country? I think footballers are actually quite vulnerable because they live in a realm where often their reputation is shouting louder than the reality. No wonder they are known for their gigantic egos. If you strip away the talent, bulging wallet, sports brand endorsements and the fans screaming their surname, would thousands of women be soooooo desperate to get naked and naughty like sex is a hobby...No. BC (before Christ) at the height of my partying at celeb haunts in the city, like many gals I believed the lie that footballers were worth more than regular guys, it was always a bigger buzz chatting with them. In our celebrity-obsessed culture, back then it seemed impossible not to be dazzled. The recent allegations about the footballers reminds me of Samson and King David from the Bible. These were powerfully influential men who seem to have a real weakness for women and the same eye for the ladies which lead to their downfall. As I read about their lives, I just want to scream “no, don’t do it!” Sometimes studying the Bible is like watching car crash TV. I’m learning the purpose of these stories in the Bible of men who failed is to learn from their wrong choices and to beware of the weaknesses in me and my need to draw strength from God to help me overcome temptations. BC I remember a married Christian man telling me that to affair-proof his marriage he avoids attending any event alone where alcohol is flowing freely and where there may be temptation to engage in inappropriate behaviour with drunk women. At the time, I felt it was way over the top but now I see his point. The life of Wayne Rooney is a reminder that earning £100,000 per week does not automatically make someone responsible and influence doesn’t make someone trustworthy. So, back to my initial question, are we the British public expecting too much? I think yes, footballers are human and it must take a lot not to never succumb to the level of female attention they receive. On the other hand I say no because they are role models and they do benefit from public attention. As usual Jesus hits the nail on the head when he said: "When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required."(Luke 12v48)

Talk to me!!! Let me know what you think...you don't need an account to comment.

Click below where it says 0 comments, write your comment in the white comment box then scroll down to name/url, leave your name then click publish your comment...easy peasy!

TORTURER L'ESPIRIT

2010-09-05T11:35:00.000-07:00

I hear the French phrase for worrying is torturer l’esprit, which means torturing the mind.

Is it me or is that little shocking? Does this mean when I worry, I'm actually torturing my mind? Torture is a strong word but fitting in my opinion. I wonder if French gals worry less with a definition like this to play with. It seems many of us do day to day life with small weights lingering on our minds that we long to be lifted.

The Longman English dictionary defines worry as to feel disturbed or depressed, to feel nagging fear about something, to strangle. I love the way dictionaries have the power to enable me see words in a whole new light. One thing I’ve learnt about worry is just how contagious it is: it can spread fast like conjunctivitis in a children’s nursery. I worry less than I did BC (before Christ).

I've realised that whenever I take God out of the equation, my life makes no sense. I suppose one reason I worry less is that my responses are different now that I have God in my life. BC my automatic response to uncertainty or hard times was to worry. To my horror I’m learning there are no quick fix cures to soothe a worrying mind. Alcohol was definitely one way of coping BC, but like all temporary plasters it comes unstuck after a while. Jesus was a man on mission; I doubt he could have achieved all he did if he was daily weighed down by worry. I just love the way he taught with words but also by just being. He taught that a genuine concern for food and shelter was ok but that it is best to all keep things in perspective.

Often worrying feels similar to thinking but thinking leads to solutions and relief: it can motivate us to action but worrying is a one way road to nowhere. Excessive worrying usually makes me feel frazzled, helpless and emotionally drained. I read an article on worry recently that spoke a lot about the need people have to be in control which totally resonated with me. It’s really hard to give up trying to control my entire life. The article said when we worry, it feels as if we are in control of the situation we are worrying about but actually we are not. If only I was as good as self-control as I am at trying to control what’s happening around me! As usual my musing lead to many questions: why does it seem that women worry more than men? What is the root cause of worry? Do self-help books on worry actually bring lasting freedom? Will I ever be 100% worry -free? I decided to seek expert advice from a qualified Christian counsellor Anna Heenan.

She said:"Research shows that women are more prone to anxiety than men. One reason that anxiety is feared by many is that it appears to have such physical power. An extreme reaction is a panic attack. It is the views and opinions we hold about life which cause us to feel anxious, therefore anxious feelings have a lot to do with our thoughts. There are two ways to break the cycle of worry: 1. Challenging and replacing irrational thinking E.g. ‘I'll never beat this worry ’ to ‘just take one day at a time, there's lots I can do to help myself’ 2. Distraction such as breathing, relaxation or physical exercises can reduce physical symptoms.
The vast array of self-help books available highlight the level of consumer demand for a greater personal insight into ourselves. Whilst I believe that some may offer short terms tips to manage worry, ultimately permanent freedom is only found in total dependency on God. Truly believing and having a personal revelation that God hears you and is in control will relieve the pressure to achieve unrealistic self-imposed expectations.”

To which I replied with a loud amen!!! Maybe worry is simply a sign we are created for dependency?

Christian counselling can help identify any unhelpful beliefs that are impacting everyday life and suggest practical ways to overcome feelings of being overwhelmed by anxiety.

Anna operates a private practice in South West London. For more information, she can be contacted at: alheenan@googlemail.com

I HEART FAITH

2010-08-28T04:15:00.000-07:00

After four months of working UNPAID on a busy local Newspaper, running around the streets of London collecting opinions from the public and seeing my story ideas printed in the paper with my name at the top. Finally last week it suddenly dawned on me that my hard work had actually paid off. Whilst doing work experience, I discovered many reporters have an NCTJ Newspaper qualification under their belt. It’s like the must-have accessory for every reporter. I began to realise that if I was serious about a career working as a news reporter, it would be fantastic to get this qualification under my belt. And this week I come bearing good news: I’ve been awarded a bursary of £3,900 to enable me to study the NCTJ newspaper journalism qualification.
I wanted to share my good news and with all the bad news dominating the headlines at the moment. I thought it would make a nice change….so here’s my faith story!
It all started back in April this year, just before I started work experience at the newspaper I received a text from my gal telling me about this journalism course that she’d seen and instantly thought of me. I logged on to the website and read through the course description and thought “wow, I’d love to do this course.” I scrolled down further and got to the £3,900 price tag and I knew I didn’t have that kind of money in the bank so I logged off.
I spoke to a few journo’s at Church and told them that I really wanted to do this qualification and they responded with the price tag. urgh! ...It was then I realised that my Bible teaches that God promises to provide for my needs. Since becoming a Christian, I’m discovering that my needs are different to my wants. Although £3,900 is a lot of money to me, it’s not a lot of money to God. I had faith that he would provide for me some how and especially since he was the one who put me on this journalism path.
So I logged back on to the website and applied for the course that couldn’t afford. I thought I’d wait to see whether I was offered a place before I started to focus on the money.
I applied for the course and then I was invited for an interview and completed some tests. On my way out of the building, The Journalism Diversity Fund leaflet caught my eye. I reached over and grabbed one and discovered it was a fund set up to help people from diverse backgrounds who need help to fund their journalism training. I thought “oh. my. goodness.” My faith soared as I thought maybe this is how God will provide the cash. I contacted them, completed the application form and waited and waited.
Thirty days later, I got a letter congratulating me for getting through to the next stage and inviting me to come for an interview at the Financial Times with a panel FOUR journalists. As soon as I read there was going to be four of them, I burst into tears as fear, anxiety and dread began to consume me. I began to despise my faith adventure and started to wish I could just provide the money myself. I began to believe the lie that I was a sad charity case having to beg complete strangers for money. I put the lie to one side and went along to the interview.
As I sat back in the reception on the black soft leather sofa. I pondered on how far I’d come in this journalism journey. In the end, one of the journo’s couldn’t make it so there was only three. Phew! The interview was so tough, I was grilled like toast. As I listened to myself answering their questions it didn’t even sound like me, I realised how much I’d grown in my understanding of journalism. I thought the interview went well but the panel played it so cool, they gave nothing away.
For the next few days the suspense was invading my mind, body and soul. My mind kept racing…was God going to provide for me through this fund? Or would the money come a different way? What’s going on with my life I thought?I wanted to scream …Then last week Wednesday I got the call for to say I’d been shown the panel I have a genuine commitment to Journalism and I had been awarded the cash. After i'd finished thanking them. I wanted to run to heaven and say thanks to God for the gift of faith to trust in his promise and give him a gigantic hug. So in the next few weeks, I’m off to study newspaper journalism. Yippppeeeeeeee. I’m doing the course I wanted to do but couldn’t afford. I‘ll be learning so many new skills including how to make videos. Who knows maybe I’ll upload a few video blogs in the future. Watch this space!

WHAT WOMEN WANT

2010-08-20T12:25:00.000-07:00

In my last proper blog “Tis the season to get married, tra la la la la la la” I shared how I was looking forward to my friend’s magical woodland wedding. It was the most beautiful day. Apart from having to change my planned outfit at the last minute because it didn’t tick my fashion boxes, August 7, 2010 was definitely one of the best days of life this year.
The wedding celebration took place in the countryside and on the train back to the city, I just felt utterly blessed to share in the celebration of their Christian marriage. There were so many gorgeous moments throughout the day when I thought: hmmmm “that’s what women want” I’m aware we women are all different and lots of us shudder at the thought of a themed wedding and many don’t even believe in marriage but hear me out!

WHAT WOMEN WANT....

TO BE PURSUED AFTER THE GUY HAS GOT WANT HE WANTS: Just before they exchanged their vows both the bride and groom made unscripted promises to each other. The groom said: “I promise to pursue you” and I thought wow, what a fantastic promise to continue pursuing his wife after they are married. What woman doesn’t want to be pursued and especially after the guy has got want he wants? I know I can’t be the only gal who can testify of the pursuit grinding to a halt after the guy got what he wanted. Urrgghhh!
I’LL WAIT TO KISS YOU: In the order of service, I saw the words “the kiss” then I realised they hadn’t actually kissed before, so it was kind of a big deal. It feels so strange even writing this because it’s such foreign concept to me for a couple to be in a relationship for almost two years and not even kiss. It a growing radical trend in my church with lots of couples because hormones are raging sooooooooooo wild, so help them stay on the no sex before marriage path, they don’t even kiss because they can't handle it. I know the Bible teaches nothing is impossible with God but it’s pretty shocking right? The frustration must have been insane but how cute that he was happy to be in a committed relationship and wait until they were married for a kiss.
PUBLIC DECLARATION OF LOVE: After the service, the next stop was champagne or elderflower cordial on the lawn, with photographs and speeches. It was just the loveliest moment to hear the groom tell the story of their romance. At the end of his speech he turned to her and said: “I love you” even though she knows he loves her and we knew but to hear him say it in front of everyone, totally unashamed, was music to my ears. It’s soooooo nice to see a man just free to show his emotions and publicly declare his love for his woman.
UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTENCE: I remember listening to a sermon a few years ago where a pastor suggested that before a couple enter marriage they should talk about their sexual history. The very thought made my flesh crawl and still to this day I’m not fully convinced; however after discussing my internal fears with Christian women in relationships I can now slightly see the benefits. I know before the bride and groom’s relationship got serious they had “the sex chat” and it didn’t change anything. Wouldn’t it be awesome to be free to honestly share your full sexual history and walk away knowing your man accepts you unconditionally?
TO WEAR THE PERFECT DRESS : How damn dee-licious is the dress? Doesn’t she look like a princess? Isn’t it amazing what bit of cloth and lashings of lace can do? Like the perfect pair of jeans sometimes it’s hard to find the perfect dress and to have one whole day wearing the perfect dress that’s made-to-measure and fits you perfectly with no riding up, no falling down, no gaping material anywhere…just perfection. Surely, every woman wants that!

I'LL BE BACK

2010-08-09T12:01:00.000-07:00

No matter how carefully we try to plan our days... life happens!
I’ve had alot on my plate of late which means I’ve had be all grown up and prioritise my workload and my blogging has to go on the back burner :-(....However, I’ll be back next Friday 20th of August. Thanks soooooooooooooo much for stopping by... Sending you a virtual hug.... Selena xx

TIS THE SEASON TO GET MARRIED..TRA LA LA LA LA... LA LA LA LA

2010-07-31T15:08:00.000-07:00

Photo from Gity Monsef's Wedding Spring 2010. L to R Carey, Michele, Beautiful bride Gity, Emily, Selena, Kirsten & Miranda
One of the many things I love about summer is weddings. Across the city couples are saying “I do” in hundreds of different languages. Next week Saturday I’ll be soaking up all the love, romance, food and dancing at my friend’s "magic woodland" wedding. I can’t wait! I should really invest in waterproof mascara as part of my wedding outfit because knowing my track record I’m bound to shed a tear or two. It amazes me how my thoughts on marriage have changed since becoming a Christian. BC (before Christ) I just could not see a proposal, a wedding or marriage in my future.

I wasn’t the anti-marriage type; I suppose I just knew very little about it. Sure, I wanted to settle down and have children but to be honest I lived with the expectation that I would not live “happily ever after”. I believed that eventually I’d find love or love would find me and at some point in our relationship we would have children but I assumed he would probably cheat on me and I’d end up a single mother in the city. How sad is that? I remember a friend telling me that every woman is going to be a single mum in the end and it’s all about finding the right donor.

I suppose, my thinking was heavily formed by all the unfaithfulness and relationship break down that seemed to surround me on TV and in life from birth right through to my twenties. I believed the lie that hoping too hard for good things to happen in life only sets you up for disappointment. So play it boringly safe and expect the worst and secretly hope for the best. Urgh...I hate that type of thinking. Plus my role models when I was a young girl were mostly unmarried single mothers, so it’s no wonder I thought that way. Now most of my role models are married Christian women: a mixture of newly weds and women that have been married for well over 10 years.
I love that marriage is God’s good idea and there’s nothing wrong or sinful for a woman to have the desire for a loving, intimate, exclusive and totally committed relationship with a man AKA marriage. BC “happily ever after” felt totally impossible but I’m learning that building a lasting strong marriage takes sacrificial love, time, trust, communication, fun and loads of forgiveness.

I’ve seen with my own eyes that dreams of marriage do come true. I’ve seen God’s phenomenal match making skills. BC I lived with no hope a romantic proposal, a wedding or marriage and now I have hope of a God-centred Christian marriage that looks even better. The Bible teaches that nothing is impossible with God. (Luke 1v37).

I’m not saying Christian couples are super holy angels with invisible wings who never get cheat on their spouses or divorce. Through watching my friends I can see lasting marriages don’t just happen, it takes work to affair-proof every marriage and many years to build a solid union that will weather the storms. All I’m saying is I just love the wedding season and how faith in Jesus is setting me free from having my beliefs about love and marriage rooted in my past relationships with men or family background.Yipppeeeeeeeeeeeee

THOU SHALT NOT BE SCARED OF CHANGE

2010-07-23T16:08:00.000-07:00

Whenever I find myself in a different area of London, I love grabbing a local newspaper and reading the happenings in their local community. ‘Motorists fume in tunnel gridlock’, ‘Fare dodger lashed out at Tube staff’, ‘Vandals strike’, ‘Burger King closes after blaze sparks safety fears’, ‘Finding ways to escape workplace stress’ are just some of the headlines from The Wharf, a freebie newspaper for residents in and around Canary Wharf.

Whilst browsing through I stumbled across a column in the sports section by personal trainer John Getty. John spoke about how people tend to stick to machines and exercises they are familiar with, often wondering about the new equipment but fear of looking silly or performing incorrectly means they never dare to try them. He said: “We are creatures of habit who like routine. However that does not provide a challenge and it will only lead to a fitness plateau.”
His words really got me thinking. Are we all truly creatures of habit or are we just scared of change? Fear of change is a common fear immobilising people right across the city. I’ve had many conversations with gals who have told me they are soooooo afraid of change and how they hate being that way. I’m convinced this specific fear keeps people stuck in jobs, careers and relationships they despise.

The ironic thing is that “I wish I’d done it sooner” are the words that often flow from lip glossed lips after a gal embraces change. Why is the mediocre path so often attractive? Fear of change definitely prevents people becoming Christians. Looking back to when I was in the decision making process deciding whether to say yes to Jesus and become a Christian Gal in the City, I can now see I was battling internally with the fear of change. I knew that saying yes would alter my life as I knew it. Fear of change is an evil thief robbing people from opportunities to embrace new careers, business opportunities, hairstyles, make up colours, relationships, holiday destinations and even faith in Jesus. The list is endless! When presented with an opportunity to try something new or different why is there no fear of missing out? Why do we have the tendency to instantly think "what if I hate it?" instead of "what if I love it?" And how about if we exchanged thoughts of "what if doesn’t work out?" for "what if it all works out well?". Faith in Jesus has definitely given me more of adaptable outlook when it comes to change. I can’t believe how rigid I was BC (before Christ). Now days I adore my faith adventure with God too much to resist change. Often, I take risks and things don’t turn out the way imagined. It’s disheartening but I’m usually still glad I took a risk and learnt a lesson for the future. I’m learning that fear is the total opposite to faith. I’ve heard God says 364 times in the Bible, Do not fear or don’t be afraid or do not be frightened... I haven’t counted myself but from what I’ve read so far, it sounds correct. One of my fave antidote verses for fear is "For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. (Isaiah 41:13)

This verse inspires me to step of my comfort zone, it reminds me that God is with me and loves to see me free to be fearless. It’s not wrong to feel afraid, we're human. However to allow fear of change to dominate our life choices and decisions is not a good look. I agree with Mr Getty we are creatures who like routine but he’s right where there’s no challenge there’s not growth in the gym and in life. Really.. what is the worst that can happen if embrace change and try something oh so new? In my experience the pros far out weigh the cons!

NOMINATE ME!!!!!

Do you love Christian Gal in the City Blog? If you do don't forget to nominate me!! Cosmopolitan magazine has launched its first ever Blog Awards and I would be so grateful if you would take a moment to nominate Christian Gal in the City in the ‘Lifestyle’ category.

Click -here.. to nominate...Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

ESPANA BABY!

2010-07-17T02:36:00.000-07:00

So Spain won the World Cup and the competition is over for another four years. I’m not a massive football fanatic but I learnt a lot of lessons during the World Cup fever…I thought I’d share a few:

1. Life is about goals
Football is about winning by scoring goals, in the same way it’s good to set ourselves personal goals both long term and short term. The World Cup players didn’t let the disappointment of a failed attempt at scoring a goal stop them for having another go. If at first you don’t succeed at achieving your goal…girl, you’re in the majority! Try again!

2. Life is about team work
During the games it was crucial that players worked together at all times and never against each other. In all teams at work or church there are bound to be conflicts of interest and personality clashes but at the end of the day we can overcome these by setting our minds on the bigger picture.

3. Life is all about training and discipline
Watching the World Cup players in action, it’s easy to forget the many hours of training and discipline that goes on behind the scene to able them to perform well. For players with fiery personalities, it takes discipline to keep your cool through the heat of a 90 minute match and not get sent off. In the same way, skipping breakfast, too many late nights and zero exercise is bound to have a negative affect on our performance at work. I’m learning that I have to train my mind almost daily to trust God and not worry.

4. Life is sometimes unfair
England missed out on a goal due to no goal line technology; Ghana’s goal was blocked by a player’s hand. Urgh! During Spain vs Netherlands, a goal kick was given to Spain that should have been a corner for Holland this meant Spain went on to score and win the World Cup. In life there’s a time to stand for justice but some days annoying things happen due to human error. It’s a good idea to keep all things in perspective as getting stressed out is never a good look!

5. Life is all about endurance
Endurance is needed to win the World Cup, to do life well and to see the things we start through to completion. It’s the capacity to keep going even though you feel like giving up. Learning and developing a new skill will bring the need to endure. If you’re like me sometimes reading a book without stopping for a six month break takes endurance. Whether you’re trying to to find a new job, a new place to live, learning to cook, a new language or trying to grasp the Bible...endure endure endure. There’s success on the other side only if you don’t give up!

KNIFE CRIME IN THE CITY

2010-07-10T01:50:00.000-07:00

Chopping up vegetables, peeling fruit, cutting meat and eating a meal...with all the knife crime in the city, sometimes I forget that knives can be used for good.

This week I’ve been thinking about knife crime. It all started at my internship at a local newspaper in the city. News came in that a 15 year old boy had been stabbed outside his school gates. “Oh no no,” I thought. I noticed one of the reporters gathering his notepad to go out and report back. Inside my head I was frantically wishing I could go along for the experience. The thought of making my wish known immediately filled me with fear. Urgh! After a few minutes, I realised that wishing wasn’t getting me anywhere. So I plucked up the courage and said: “Can I come?” He agreed and the next thing I knew I was a short distance from the scene of the crime. Although as a budding journalist, it’s my job to never assume anything ever, I assumed the boy was still alive only to discover the injuries were fatal and he had died. Local residents had gathered nearby and were talking to the journo's as they scribbled away on their notepads. It seemed every single journalist in the land was there as I looked over at the BBC and Sky news reporting live. For the rest of the afternoon, I could not get the murder out of my head. The thought of a mother receiving the news of her son’s death knowing that he wasn’t coming home from school that day was just unbearable.
As I look at the way people treat each other, part of me can’t help but think that we have been hookwinked into believing the lie that human life isn't sacred or of any real significance. This week I’ve started a brilliant Bible study on self-esteem: ‘seeing ourselves as God sees us’ and I’m learning heaps about the creator side of the character of God. The Bible teaches that God didn’t simply make trillions of people; he created each of us individually on purpose, he actually has loads of good plans our lives. Every human is His masterpiece. I'm learning that a craftsman back in medieval times would work for months on a special piece that displayed his finest artistic skill. Finally when it was complete he would present it to the craftsmen’s guild in high hopes of achieving the rank of a master. The work was called his masterpiece. This teaches me that God is no slap dash creator and that I’m God-made and so valuable and so are you..yes...you! It's good news...eh? Artists, fashion designers and sculptors always love and value their creations. God is just the same!

Talking about God the poet David in Psalm 139 says: "You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it." He's right, people are incredibly complex that's for sure.

Our beliefs lead to actions good and bad. How much we value of human life will determine whether we treat people like trash or treasure. The person that plunged a sharp knife into young Zac Olumegbon clearly believed the lie that he wasn’t of value. The thing that shocked me most is that I’m guilty of believing this lie too. Some days I fail to recognise people’s value in the eyes of God, especially strangers. The poet Maya Angelou said: “While I know myself as a creation of God, I am also obligated to realize and remember that everyone else and everything else are also God's creation.” I’m not saying that people hurt and kill simply because they believe this one lie that people have no value. There are many factors that result in people being hurt, used, abused, ignored, humiliated, abandoned and disrespected. However, maybe knowing the truth that we are all equally prized possessions, each of us important and valuable to God has the power to radically change the way we see ourselves and treat each other. It’s changing me that's for sure!

Click (here) for information on the Self-Esteem Bible Study.

"HOW DID I GET A GUY LIKE THAT?"

2010-07-02T13:20:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to my round up what's HOT and what's absolutely NOT.
Right, let's start with the NOT'S....

CHILD ABUSE
The other day I saw an adult give a young boy a cigarette, this is not hot. My heart sank as I thought of his young lungs as he strolled off wearing his school uniform. He looked around 14. I think back to my school days and it disgusts me that grown adults sold me and my friend’s alcohol and drugs. It’s wrong! Some people say: “Yeah, but kids are gonna do it any way”

…As if that makes it right. Surely children shouldn’t given a helping hand to damage their health or break the law. Urgh!

“HOW DID I GET A GUY LIKE THAT”
In a recent interview in YOU magazine with singer turned X-Factor judge Dannii Minogue spoke about her man Kris. One of her quotes really jumped out at me. She said: “I look at him and go, how did I get a guy like that? He gorgeous and he’s so gentle and kind and incredible with kids.” Although it’s nice to hear any woman beaming about her man, it was the “how did I…?” that got me thinking.

I mean…what does that comment say about the way she sees herself and her own self-worth? It’s as if she’s a bit taken back he’s with her. Urgh! As women do we really believe that we actually deserve a great guy and to be treated with kindness? We should!...Click (here) to read the full interview.

HALF-NAKED FEMALENESS
Gone are the days when the only women you saw in their underwear were family members and possibly a close friend. I’m sick of the sight of images of half -naked femaleness. I can remember looking at Victoria Beckham advertising underwear for Armani and thinking the only person who should have the privilege of seeing her in that state should surely be her husband David.

Last week, I was driving along minding my own business and I ended up behind the back of the bus and there grinning at me like a chesire cat was a woman in her undies. The image covered the entire backside of a double-decker bus. Urgh!

And now for what's HOT...

FORGIVENESS
It’s taken me a while but I’ve come to the conclusion that forgiveness is HOT. Recently a conversation left me feeling hurt and deeply offended. In that moment, I could feel a tiny seed of bitterness begin to take root in my heart. Left to its own device it would have rapidly grown into the grudge of all grudges. After a few days of feeling angry at the mere thought of the person, I realised that I needed to forgive.

BC (before Christ) I used to think that by forgiving I was letting the evil perpetrator off the hook but I’m discovering that by not forgiving, I’m the one hooked to pain and the past. Forgiveness is powerful, it took the edge off the pain and allowed me to finally let it go...yippppeeeeee!

THE TRUTH ABOUT AIRBRUSHING WILL SET YOU FREE
It’s rare to see un-airbrushed human these days unless I’m scrolling through a friends Facebook photos and even then it’s debatable. I often forget that the images of perfection bombarding me everyday have been digitally enhanced. I knew images were airbrushed but I was totally shocked to see the actual extent brands go to sell their products and services. Recently I read a news article about Debenhams where they showed the true tricks of the trade. It was interesting to see the before and how they got to the totally unattainable airbrushed after image.

The truth is always HOT! Click (here) for the full story.
SEX AND THE SOUL OF A WOMAN by Paula Reinhart
Oh my goodness this book is HOT…Have you ever felt the anguish of a broken sexual bond with a man you cared for? Have you ever tried to convince yourself that sex shouldn’t matter so much…Then this book is for you! The chapters are packed with life-changing insights and truths about women, men, relationships, romance, love and what really happened when a man and women have sex. Paula is a professional Christian counsellor who speaks with authority and writes from the heart. This book provided me with answers to some of my biggest questions. I just can’t stop recommending it. Fave quote: “Each of us carries an internal compass that governs the kind of men we attach to, what we are conditioned to expect and how we interpret feeling loved.”

Click (here) for more info.

NOMINATE ME!
Cosmopolitan magazine has launched its first ever Blog Awards and I would be sooooooooooo grateful if you would take a minute to nominate Christian Gal in the City in the ‘Lifestyle’ category. Click (here)... to nominate...Thank you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

LONELINESS IN THE CITY

2010-06-25T13:16:00.000-07:00

This week I’ve been thinking about loneliness. Although many people don't like to admit to feeling alone. Life can get incredibly lonely especially in humongous cities like London.
Every now and then I’ll read a feature article in a glossy magazine talking about the rise in loneliness and how the social networking phenomenon is leaving many people feeling lonelier than ever. I’m a face to face gal, some days I get sick and tired of communicating via damn technology. I can’t help but wonder: is face to face now “so last season”. My musing about loneliness was triggered at the baptism service at church earlier this month. A young Christian woman was interviewed about the difference faith in Jesus makes to her day to day life in the city. She said that BC (before Christ) although she had heaps of meaningful relationships in her life, she still battled with an internal ache of loneliness. As I sat listening she described what sounded like a inner thirst that her existing relationships were just unable to quench. She went on to explain that through exploring Christianity, she had discovered that all along she had been thirsty for a relationship with God. And grinning from ear to ear, she told the crowd that she longer feels all alone now God is in her life. As I looked from my seat, I was so thrilled that her internal battle with loneliness was o-v-er!

I think the thing that most unnerves me most about loneliness is that like a magnet we can become drawn to things, people and places that we wouldn't ordinarily consider i.e. unhealthy relationships with men, drugs and alcohol or toxic female friendships and not forgetting internet addiction. For others, sadly spending time with people they don’t even care about is a better option than being alone. Loneliness can lead to love-less sex, addictions, depression, illness and even suicide.

I’m learning there are sooooooooo many things that trigger loneliness. To be misunderstood, to do life with no authentic friendships or to be enduring a difficult season of life and feel that no one truly understands can push a person to their loneliness limit. Out and about in the city, I often feel totally alone in my value system and my general outlook on life but never internally lonely. Looking back BC (before Christ) I can definately remember times of anguish when the ache of inner loneliness reared it's ugly head. Whenever I experience sadness these days, I can honestly say I've never felt alone....confused, hurt, angry but not alone.

Maybe inner loneliness is God's way of telling us that we were made for something more. And maybe outer loneliness is His way of showing us that we are created for authenic relationships and community and not to eat evening meals alone every night. After all God did said to Adam: "It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone" (Genesis 2: 18). If the Bible is true and we are designed for a relationship with God then it makes perfect sense that we have an internal ache of loneliness if we are not experiencing the one relationship we were actually made for!

HUUUUMONGOUS APOLOGIES

2010-06-18T02:39:00.000-07:00

Ooooooh it feels soooooooooooooo good to blog again...Ladies-thanks for stopping by and huuuumongous apologies for the lack of daily updates over the past few weeks. And for the sudden change in my weekly chunk moving from Fridays to Saturday to Mondays and now back to Fridays. I've been trying to adjust to my new busier schedule which is proving to be a quite a challegne. So with this in mind, I've made an excutive decision that daily snippets will return at some point next month and my weekly chunk will be back to Fridays starting this week Friday 25th of June. Sending you a virtual hug!
Selena xx

GOODBYE, PROCRASTINATION: YOU'VE BEEN A BAD FRIEND TO US

2010-06-14T14:28:00.000-07:00

"The greatest amount of wasted time is the time not getting started." Dawson Trotman
"Procrastination is like a credit card: it's a lot of fun until you get the bill." Christopher Parker
"Do you know what happens when you give a procrastinator a good idea? Nothing!" -Donald Gardener

Above are my three favourite quotes about the dirty p-word. The dictionary defines procrastination: to keep delaying and putting things off to a later time: slowness as a consequence of not getting around to it especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness.

It's great to hear that procrastination is often habitual because over a period of time all bad lifestyle habits can be exchanged with good ones. I can’t be the only gal in an ongoing battle with procrastination so I thought it would be fantastic to share what I have learnt so far:

DO CHOOSE ACTION
To discover that to procrastinate is a choice was a light bulb on moment for me.
I had no idea that while I was putting things off I was actually choosing to procrastinate. I thought by doing nothing I wasn’t making any choice. Life is all about making choices and decisions and whenever I remember it’s a choice, it usually motivates me to take responsibility and choose action instead.

DO PUSH THROUGH LAZY FEELINGS
How many things do you put off because you simply don’t feel like it.
The truth is that if we don’t feel like doing it today, the chances you’re not going to feel like it tomorrow or the next day or the day after. Don’t give lazy feelings free reign over your life. Choosing to push through lazy feelings can surgically separate you from the comfy sofa.

DO NOT FORGET THE EVIL SIDE AFFECTS
Procrastination has many side affects that we often we don’t hear about. These include: missed opportunities, stress, anxiety, frantic rushing, frustration, resentment and feelings of guilt and failure over what you haven’t got done. And let’s not forget the tasks on your things-do-list that can produce an unseen weight that neatly sits at the back of your mind day after day. It’s important to recognise the damaging side affects of the dirty p-word to inspire you to choose action.

DO NOT BOAST ABOUT TOMMORROW.
“Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth.” Proverbs 27v1. I totally love this wise verse because we really have no know idea what tomorrow will bring. How many times have you said to yourself, “I’ll do it tomorrow!” Often we devalue today, always looking toward tomorrow as if it’s our tomorrow is 100 percent guaranteed. Our world is an unpredictable place which means it’s good to be proactive today.

DO CHOOSE TO BE DISCIPLINED
I’ve come to the conclusion that discipline is the new black. I never ever thought I’d see that day that I would be an advocate for discipline. I'm falling in love with the many benefits:discipline is the training of the mind and character. But perfect prioritising, to never put things off or leaving them to the very last minute won’t happen overnight, that’s for sure. To change our responses to the often boring tasks that need to be completed takes time. To be disciplined can be a pain however in the words of my fave Bible teacher Christine Caine “We can either choose the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.”

5 THINGS: SEX & THE CITY 2 TAUGHT ME

2010-06-07T11:21:00.000-07:00

After the biggest hype SATC 2 finally hit our screens. Some gals found it more Sex and the Pity than Sex and the City they'd grown to love.

I left the cinema filled with lots food for thought.So... here's my round up of some of the very valuable lessons I learnt from watching the ladies.

1. In the event of a vicious attack reach for the truth
In the movie Carrie’s new book about marriage received a bad review from The New Yorker magazine. In life we are all bound to receive bad reviews from time to time whether it’s at work in an appraisal or in our relationships. Any type of disapproval or bad review can leave us self-doubting and feeling a little vulnerable and insecure. Newly-wed Carrie chose a huge dollop of male affirmation to medicate her wound and kissed her ex-boyfriend. Things got messy as she had to confess the kiss to her husband. I’ve learnt that in those moments of insecurity we need to be careful where we nurse our wound to make ourselves feel better and escape the pain of any bad review. Male attention, sex, shopping, comfort eating, etc act like temporary plasters: they don’t deal with the root of the issue. I’m learning that a huge dollop of truth works wonders. At the end of the day is Carrie a writer to connect with women or is she a writer for the approval of The New Yorker?

2. Thou shalt not have a distorted value system......For me the most disturbing aspect of this movie was watching highly sexed Samantha’s distorted value system. In life we all have an internal value system: our attitude and actions reveal what we truly value and hold in high regard. In the movie Samantha fought tooth and nail to hold on to her beautiful bright orange Birkin designer handbag after the tradesman grabbed it thinking she had stolen it. The fact that she fought to hold on to it shows just how she values it. For a piece of leather she put up a fight however when it came to her sexuality she shared her valuable body freely.

3. Marriage + children + money + nanny doesn’t = happily ever after
SATC 2 taught me that about the struggles married mothers face. I was under the impression that was single mums that struggled the most which is clearly untrue. In the movie over dinner and drinks Miranda and Charlotte were honest with each other and spoke about the struggles they were both facing in motherhood. Listening to them made me think of my own mother and the struggles must have she faced raising me and my siblings. Mothers really do deserve a medal! SATC 2 gave me a fresh appreciation for mine.

4. You can have it all and not know contentment
In the movie Carrie is what society calls fabulous at 40: sexy, slim, stylish, successful and married with a stunning apartment with a walk-in wardrobe literally overflowing with designer garments. From where I was sitting it seemed she had society’s definition of having-it-all. Yet she seemed totally discontent. It was as if something was still missing. As I sat watching it was a gentle reminder to me that those things are simply not designed to bring any sort lasting contentment. BC (before Christ) I thought they could. Until… a particularly difficult season of life where I felt as if my world has I knew it had been literally ripped from under me. It was soon after I had become a Christian Gal in the city. Most of my girlfriends had moved out but I was still living at home with my mum, sleeping in a single bed,

I had no job, man or disposable income. I hadn’t been shopping or partying in months but yet I loved totally loved my life with God. It was strange. Sure, I wanted change but I had an inner contentment.

5. There's more to life

From reading many blogs, reviews and tweets. I could tell so many fans were left disappointed and I think one reason for this is that we've all grown up so much since the series.

Although I have many issues with the SATC franchise, it's nice to switch off from reality for a few hours. I found the movie totally ah-maaa-zing but at the same time exhausting. I’ve been a huge fan from the outset- even my blog is a SATC inspired. However as I drove home from the cinema mulling over the film, I could feel a deep gratitude fill my heart. I was just sooooooooo grateful for my relationship with God and my church community. To watch four women do life without God, prayer, church or the Bible was a big fat reminder that there really is more to life.

Brazil World Cup Inspired make up look

2010-06-02T09:04:00.000-07:00

How cool is this make up look ???? Lauren Luke is such a great make up artist.... The world is about to go world cup crazy!!!

SEX AND THE CITY 2 HAS LANDED!!!

2010-06-01T09:18:00.000-07:00

After reading the many reviews, comments and tweets... I've come to the conclusion that i'm the only Blogette on the block who thought SATC 2 was ah-maaay-zing?.......obviously there were scenes, storylines and parts of the movie that I didn't like but on the whole I totally loved the film soooooooooooooooo much better than SATC1 ... What did you think? ..Let me know your thoughts, views and look out for my full review coming this Friday.

V IS FOR VALUE

2010-05-28T11:28:00.000-07:00

This week I’ve been thinking about the way I speak….It all started at my fab new work placement at Premier radio. I’m working on a weekly live phone-in show. This week the subject matter was self-confidence and how to jump over hurdles in those moments when you find yourself outside of your comfort zone and in need of an extra dollop of self-confidence. On hand to give advice and direction was Daphne Clifton, an executive business coach. Daphne works closely with business owners coaching them towards achieving their set goals. After the show had finished we got chatting about what I’ll be doing during my work placement and I said: “I’ll just be taking calls and putting them through to the presenter” and Daphne replied “you should remove the word just as assisting the presenter is an important role."
In that moment it was like Daphne was from the word police arresting the word just from my vocabulary. I stopped to muse on her advice and realised she had a point and my attitude was wrong. Over the past few months, the presenter has had to manage the callers while presenting the show and I’m coming on board to assist him and lighten the load. It’s an important role.
I often hear people who work in support job roles say “I just do the admin” or “I just look after the reception desk.” Often the tone of voice suggests that because the role doesn’t come with heaps of responsibility, regular meetings, an assistant, laptop, Blackberry and a glossy business card what they do isn’t of real value. At my other fab work placement at a local newspaper in the city, I've learnt that each news story is carefully checked for grammatical errors by the sub-editorial team. Although you don’t see their names printed in the paper like the reporters, what they do is incredibly valuable to the newspaper. It’s funny how a warped value system mindset can even creep into the church. People often value roles that you can see ie. preachers over the roles you can't see ie. the production team. But the interesting thing is that the Bible teaches that within a church community no one part is more important to another. The Bible says the roles in that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary.(1 Corinthians 12v 22)
Everyone may not have a prominent part but each person has an equally significant part to play. Wouldn’t it be just fabulous if this was the culture in every church, business, organisations and global empire across the city? …Wouldn’t it be just spectacular to live in a society where people valued the role of Bar staff in the same way as Barristers....

TUNE OF THE DAY: DESERT SONG ( HILLSONG)

2010-05-27T14:39:00.000-07:00

This is tune of my day..."All of my life In every season You are still God I have a reason to sing I have a reason to worship." enjoy xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

STREET CHIC OF THE WEEK

2010-05-26T09:04:00.000-07:00

My lil sis Shianne,18 from London just oozes cool from top to toe..I'm loving the way she has mixed key pieces but it's the polka dot top that takes centre stage. Effortlessly stylish .......LOVE it!

VIDEO OF THE DAY:Lifehouse's Everything Skit

2010-05-25T06:05:00.000-07:00

I watched a live version of this skit at the Pentecost festival on Saturday. I always find it incredibly moving....enjoy xxxxxxxxxxxxx

SORRY SISTER, BUT I HATE SEX AND THE CITY

2010-05-24T04:31:00.000-07:00

Sorry Sister, but I hate Sex and the City: I read this news story last week and it definitely made me see SATC in a new light. Tanya Gold has raised some valid points. I'm totally excited and can't wait to see the film but be totally honest. I'm sort of dreading all the product placement from the trailer it looks a little intense. Four more sleeps!!!!!!!

KIM CATTRALL'S HONESTY IS HOT

2010-05-14T10:43:00.000-07:00

Hello and Welcome to my weekly round up of What's HOT and What's NOT.

OK, Let's start with what's most definately not HOT
HATERS
“A hater is someone who is jealous and envious and spends alltheir time trying to make you look small so they can look tall.” says Maya Angelou
I read the full poem and my heart sank as I was reminded of people in my life who have hated on me and tried to make me look small. It’s horrible. Envy is not hot. It’s destructive caused by a deep dark inner discontentment. It’s a health hazard for both the ‘hater’ and the one being ‘hated on.’ The Bible says: “It's healthy to be content, but envy can eat you up.” Proverbs 14:30. Click (here) to read the full poem
DIDDY BOASTING
I was reading through an old copy of Glamour magazine yesterday in the hair salon and I stumbled across an interview with PDiddy. Just to set the record straight I have nothing against him however after reading through the interview, I was left with a nasty taste in my mouth. Here’s the snippet that caused it.
Glamour: So are you good in bed?
PDiddy: (Astonished) Of course I am!
Glamour: How do you know?
PDiddy: (Leaning forward, a Jack Nicholson smile across his face) because I make their legs shake.
Cor blimey....Is it me? or is that a little too much info, a little OTT, saying that he is Mr TOTT (Totally over the top).
"I’M SO STUPID"
“I’m so stupid” or "I'm such an idot"... When was the last time you heard a friend say that or when was the last time you said that to yourself? I overheard a friend say that to herself the other day and it was like the sound of nails dragging down a chalk board. Urrggghhh! It was hard to hear. Yes, she’d made a mistake but NO, she’s not stupid. It’s such a bad habit that I’m working hard to change because I've said that to myself and it's not good and I’m NOT stupid. It’s actually not ok for us to speak ourselves in a way that we’d never speak to someone else. Yes, we all make stupid choices; say stupid things from time to time. Gals, I beg you be very careful of negative self talk, it’s subtle and a sure way to whittle your self-esteem down to a toothpick. Stupid in the dictionary is unintelligent: lacking intelligence, pointless and worthless. That’s not me and that’s not you.
And now for what's HOT HOT HOT
LISTENING
Some glorious words of wisdom about the value of listening arrived in my inbox earlier this week: “It is better to listen in order to understand than to listen in order to reply.” (Author Unknown) It’s amazing how often we can hear what people are saying without actually listening to understand. I suppose one reason for this is because we hear with our ears but listening happens in our minds. I’m on a quest to develop my listening skills. Listening is HOT. As a talker, I often struggle to listen. The funniest thing happened the other day: I was having an intense debate when I noticed that I kept butting in without letting people finish their point of view. So I said: “I’m so sorry, I keep interrupting” and he replied: “yeah you do.”
I laugh now but at the time I felt knee high to an ant.
KIM CATTRALL'S HONESTY
Honesty is HOT. It takes real courage for a woman to be truly honest and admit she’s no Perfectionista. After reading Kim Cattrall’s recent interview in the Stella magazine, I was blown away by her honesty. Kim Cattrall said people are often left disappointed when they realise she is not like her Sex and the City character Samantha Jones. How awful is that? Also she spoke about being single and happy-ish. She said: “While I have things that make me happy, there are things that hurt me greatly. Yes, I get lonely. Yes, I get vulnerable; it’s tough because sometimes I have a terrifically bad day. But people think, you’re successful, so everything must be fine all the time.”

Honesty – I love it. Go Kim, you’re HOT.

OXFAM'S STYLISH CHARITY SHOP OPEN'S TODAY
Oxfam has teamed up with Selfridges to open The Oxfam Curiosity Shop in the London department store on the lower ground floor. If you are like me car boot sales and hunting through local charity shops on a fashion treasure hunt is not your idea of fun and fabulouscity then Oxfam's latest project may just convert us. I haven’t been down there yet but it sounds HOT. I hear A-list celebs have donated some garments and they will be auctioned online while the store is open. Visit: www.oxfam.org/curiosityshop to see what the buzz is about. The Oxfam Curiosity Shop opens today in Selfridges and will close on 20 May

Right.... that's a wrap. I'm not around next week - i'll be back in the blogsphere on Monday the 24 of May 2010.

BLOG OF THE DAY: DO YOU HAVE A SPIRITUAL EATING DISORDER?

2010-05-13T15:40:00.000-07:00

Blog of the day - Do you have a SPIRITUAL EATING DISORDER? click (here) to read.

HEADLINE OF THE WEEK: CONDEMNATION

2010-05-12T12:20:00.000-07:00

I loved this headline from the daily Mirror on Monday, it's so clever.
There is such a spirit of anxiety and uncertainty in the air in the city with regards to the new hung parliment. It's becoming unbearable. It's a brilliant reminder of why the Bible says
I should: "TRUST IN THE LORD" and not "THOU SHALL TRUST IN POLITIANS, GOVERNMENT, STOCK MARKET or FTSE 1OO.

TUNE OF THE DAY: Hillsong - You'll Come - With Subtitles/Lyrics

2010-05-11T14:40:00.000-07:00

This is my tune of the day, I LOVE this tune, it's so nourishing..... I can't wait to worship God on Sunday at Church... urrrgggghhhhhh....I wish there were mid- week church services in the city.

VIDEO OF THE DAY:Pursue Your Calling Not Your Potential

2010-05-10T06:50:00.000-07:00

It's too easy to allow the potential to take over pursuing your calling, watch this snippet. It's an awesome mental snack! Enjoy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

FEAR OF MAN

2010-05-07T12:07:00.000-07:00

This week, I discovered that being scared witless of my editor really is a trap.
It’s May, where has this year gone? We are almost half way through 2010. May is a fantastic month, apart from the two bank holiday weekends, it’s also the month of my Birthday. Hip hip hooray!
I kick-started my week with full afternoon tea and all the trimmings on Monday to celebrate. Where have my twenties gone? I can’t help but feel that my twenties have been whittled down to a toothpick. I met up with my gals for sandwiches, cakes and tea at the Charlotte Street Hotel: one of my favourite hangouts in the city.
Oh my...I’ve never eaten so many dee-licious cakes in one day. Fruit cake, cup cakes, Chocolate choux buns, warm scones with clotted cream and jam. I had the best day, a fun filled afternoon with the three C’s chilling, chatting and cake. The next stop was home for more dee-licious birthday cake and party food with the family. After my cake overload, I can’t even look at another cake. I think I need a cake fast for the month of May.
After such a lovely birthday, I can hardly believe that I was actually tempted to cancel my birthday celebration plans. It all started last week at my work placement. The more time I spent with Journalists, the more I realise that the working hours can be pretty anti social.
It's not uncommon for Journo's to work on Bank Holidays. And as the weekend was fast approaching I suddenly thought, what if...My editor wants me to work on Bank Holiday Monday (my birthday). And what if I tell him I’ve got plans and he gets annoyed? What if he thinks I’m not serious about the newspaper or a career in journalism? As I look back and write this today,
I feel so silly for being so outrageously irrational. However, in those moments of sheer madness as I rehearsed negative what if scenarios in my mind, the thoughts of being met with his disapproval stole my peace and played on my mind. I figured the easier option would be to cancel my birthday. Then I remembered that the Bible says: “Fear of man will prove to be a snare but whoever trusts in the lord will be kept safe” (Proverbs 29 v26) I realised I was caught in the snare. A snare is a sneaky device used to catch animals. It’s so subtle I didn’t even see it coming. I realised that I had been a allowing the sheer thought of his disapproval steal my gift of peace and control my trail of thought. How crazy is that? As I prayed and asked God set me free from the snare, my binge thinking and rehearsing ceased. It was bliss and finally I felt freed to trust God that whatever happened all would be cool. The hilarious thing was that I wasn’t even required to work and from my observations my Editor is no scary monster. After all that dread and nervous energy I learnt four damn good lessons. 1)Avoid binge thinking, like the plague 2)Reading and applying the word of God to my life, really does work wonders. 3) The fear of man or woman is a nasty snare but through prayer and trust in the Lord. I will be kept safe 4) With God in my life, everything will be ok in the end and if it's not ok then it's not the end.

VIDEO OF THE DAY: Joyce Meyer - Impact of Having a Good Self-Image

2010-05-06T08:13:00.001-07:00

It's amazing the difference having a good self image can have on our day-to- day lives. Watch this short video! I love Joyce Meyer, she's such a great bible teacher....enjoy xxxxxxxxxx

ARTICLE OF THE DAY: HEART RACING MOVES

2010-05-05T05:31:00.000-07:00

I stumbled across this inspirational exercise bite size article on Glam blogs. It's looks quite good, ....I sooooooo need to love thy body and exercise more. I need all the inspiration I can get!

click (here) and enjoy!

Sign the Westminster2010 Declaration

2010-05-04T03:11:00.000-07:00

Sign the Westminster2010 Declaration

SIN CITY

2010-05-01T04:51:00.000-07:00

This week, I’ve been getting some hands-on work experience at a local newspaper in the city. It’s been superb to learn about the world of local news and all that goes on behind the scenes of putting together a newspaper. So I’m getting to grips with what’s news, what’s hot and what’s not. Earlier this week, the strangest thing happened to me. I was getting ready to start my day and I overheard on the radio morning news about a 14 year old girl who had been arrested for stabbing a man and immediately my budding journo instinct kicked in and I thought “that’s sounds like a great news story” then my heart sank as I thought “Great news? What am I thinking?” I realised that from a journo perspective, it’s a great news story but for the people’s lives affected and it’s not great news at all. After just a few days at the paper, I’ve suddenly become more aware of the depth of suffering behind these news stories. This week after hearing the words: shooting, murder, death, rape, burglary flying around the office I found it all incredibly upsetting. It’s during sad moments like this that I’m so grateful for my relationship with God and the hope that grinds my warm tears to a halt. I think of my church where we are starting lots of social action projects and reaching out to people in the city to tackle social problems. For me, it’s a reminder that God truly does care.
Our world is so beautiful but also a place of real sadness. The Bible teaches that as a Christian gal, I should aim to live with an eternal perspective on life. I haven’t quite mastered the art of this; it’s a crazy concept to get my head around. However it does give me a solid hope to cling to.
The Bible is full of promises for the future : “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." (Revelation 21.4) This is obviously not the case right now. We are all constantly bombarded with horrific headlines, new stories and statistics. And how often you do stop and consider the people, families and pain involved?
It’s sooooooooo easy to read a harrowing headline on a news website and just scroll down or in a newspaper and just turn the page. The truth is they are not just bold black headlines.
Behind every prison sentence is a person taken from their family, friends and community. Behind every person killed is a family left with aching hearts, behind every stabbing is a person in a hospital, hurting, full of anger and resentment. Behind every suicide was a person in real despair, consumed with a sense of hopelessness. Behind every rape there’s person who has been violated, humiliated and left battling an unbearable internal shame.
The good news that Jesus came not just forgive people’s sin but also to undo, heal and clean up the residue of sin (emotional pain, shame and the other hidden damaging physiological effects sin has on us.) This excites me and gives me hope. I just absolutely, whole heartedly thank Jesus that in my own life, I have experienced his cleansing and transformation. The exciting thing is that what faith in Jesus has done in my life, can be done in the lives others. And I just can't sit back and do nothing. I know that as I get involved in different projects in my city, I'll see lives transformed, broken hearts healed and dignity restored. It’s ace!

SERMON OF THE WEEK: THE ORIGIN OF SUFFERING!

2010-04-29T07:29:00.000-07:00

Andy Tilsley is a leader at my Church. Here, he teaches from the book of Genesis 3:8-24. Looking at the results of human's sin and the consequences that followed. This most definately the sermon of the week. Passionate, firery preaching from the bible from last Sunday.
I loved every single minute of this talk, I didn't want it to end... Click here to download the Origin of Suffering - Sun 25th of April...enjoy!

OBAMA MEETS BILLY GRAHAM

2010-04-28T11:37:00.000-07:00

I'm back..... Oh my goodness, it feels soooooooooooooooooooooooooo great to blog again! apologies to my daily readers for the lack of thoughts, observations, musings...I've hardly any internet access. I felt like a armish Christian gal for the past few days... am I one of the only girls in the city, without 24 hour iphone internet access?
My absolute favourite news story this week was Obama meets Billy Graham.
Billy Graham is a real mover and shaker, he's a famous preacher.
According to his staff, as of 1993 more than 2.5 million people have come forward at his crusades to accept Jesus Christ as their personal Saviour. I hear he's has given godly advice to every U.S. President since Harry Truman.

The Bible says "Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success" (Proverbs 15:22)

Click (here) to watch one of my fave videos of Billy Graham preaching, It was years ago but it's timeless teachings, human nature doesn't change eh?
For more information on Billy Graham visit : www.billygraham.org

GET REAL,LADIES!

2010-04-24T09:26:00.000-07:00

Is it time for ladies to get real when it comes to finding a man?

Last week, I stumbled across a real thought provoking feature “Get real, ladies!” in the Daily Mail newspaper. Super successful novelist Joanna Trollope says ladies should refrain from having unrealistic wish lists and expectations when it comes to relationships with men. Joanna says: “People need to throw away this absurd Vera Wang shopping list that says a man has to earn £100, 000 a year, he has to be able to cut down a tree, play the Spanish guitar, make love all night and cook me a cheese soufflé.” She has point, don’t you think?

It’s interesting the seemingly endless wish lists us gals often have. All the boxes must be ticked or he can’t possibly be suitable…could he? Unrealistic expectations are the enemy in all relationships-family, friends or romantic. It’s the cause of much frustration and friction. Recently I was left feeling so let down and hurt by my friend. After my self-pity party was over, I then realised I had set the friendship expectation bar way too high. And my unrealistic expectations had caused me great discomfort. The Bible says: “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.” (Phillipians 2 v4-5)

I’m always challenged by this teaching, so often I forget that the world doesn’t revolve around me, my wants, needs, hurts or opinions. I don’t know about you, but I sure don’t want people having unrealistic expectations of me. From my observations, people need lots and lots of patience, love, forgiveness and pressure-free relationships in their lives.

I agree with Joanna, I think it’s time to get real, I’m not totally against wish lists but maybe just a wish list review every now and then, to remove any unrealistic bullet points. And turn the heat down and take the pressure off men. Women who are totally fixated on un-ticked boxes, often miss out on great parts, that are not always glaringly obvious. The hilarious thing is that wish lists don’t stop when you’re in a relationship. I think of a friend and she’s always moaning and groaning about her man and wishing he was different, she's so frustrated because she wants to mend and fix what is “wrong” with him.The Bible teaches that true repair of human nature comes from the manufacturer (God). Through mind games and manipulation people can change people temporarily, but it won’t last forever. Permanent change is a work of God. As a single gal, I think I need to review my own wish list to ensure there isn’t anything absurd or unrealistic on it. BC (before Christ) I had a wish list longer than the river Nile. I wanted my Mr Perfect to come along and save me from my run-of–the-mill life and take me on mad crazy adventure. It’s funny how I thought a mere mortal man would be the answer to this. Then I discovered Jesus of Nazareth and fell in love with him and he saved me! Whilst writing this piece, it suddenly dawned on me that I have one perfect man in my world, I actually don’t want another…I await my Mr Compatible instead!

BLOG OF THE DAY: LIES YOUNG WOMEN BELIEVE

2010-04-22T07:45:00.000-07:00

I'm love love loving this blog, Lies young women believe...If you’ve ever believed "I have to perform to be loved and accepted," or "Beautiful girls are worth more" IT'S A LIE. Using their fabulous Blog, Nancy and Dannah want to help young women identify and overcome these lies with the Truth from God’s Word—so that you can be set FREE! Click (here) for more info!

POEM OF THE DAY :Still I Rise by Maya Angelou

2010-04-21T06:09:00.000-07:00

Still I Rise - I love love love this beautiful inspirational poem.

Maya Angelou is one of my favourite writers. I'm constantly blown away by her wit and wisdom...she's a true role model!

Click on the blue link and enjoy xxxx

QUOTE OF THE DAY - THE MYTH OF MORE

2010-04-20T03:40:00.000-07:00

"We really think that a little more money, a little more status, a little more excitment, a little more travel, a little more pleasure, a little more power, a little more whatever, will finally produce satisfication in our soul. But stop and reflect for a moment. Have any of your acquistons, experiences, or accomplishments brought you any level of inner satisfaction? Or are you still one possession, one award, one position away from saying "enough". The myth of more consigns us to the lifetime of discontentment and dissatisfaction."

How fabulous is this quote? As soon as I heard it at Church last Sunday, I was like "WOW" so true! I'm afraid, I have no idea who this quote is from. I hear it was in a compendium of quotes by various authors.

ARTICLE OF THE DAY - MARRIAGE: AN IDOL?

2010-04-19T03:57:00.000-07:00

I just love this article on women and marriage, it's fabulous food for thought, click (here )and enjoy the article of the day!

SELENA'S TOP TIPS FOR ANXIETY RELIEF!

2010-04-16T11:50:00.000-07:00

One of my favourite movies is The Devil wears Prada, I've had the book for a good few years now, however I've never got around to reading it. In my pursuit for some chick lit, I grabbed the The Devil wears Prada. I was hoping to read, relax and unwind after a long day, however after the first two pages. I had to grind my reading to a halt. Instead of relaxing, I started to feel anxious, the opening chapter was just full of worry, panic, fretting and frantic rushing. Anxiety is infectious...It seems, anxiety is a widespread problem and from my observations it seems that certain personality types are more susceptible than others.

The dictionary defines anxiety as intense dread, apprehension and nagging worry.
It's normal to be aware and concerned about any problem area in our lives. However, whenever I'm plagued with dread, apprehension and nagging worry, this sends anxiety alarm bells ringing a ding-dinging. The Bible says "Do not fret-it leads only to evil" Psalm 37v 8
Evil is defined as morally bad or wrong; wicked causing ruin, injury, pain and harm.

I’ve shared on my blog my battle with anxiety and how through my faith in Jesus, I’m finding freedom little by little. It’s my conviction that I was not built for anxiety. And like many gals on the journey to freedom, I'm not where I want to be, but I'm thrilled and grateful to God that I'm not where I used to be. I thought it would be fantastic, to share some tips to help anyone else who is battling in this area!

So here’s my tried and tested tips for a little more freedom on the anxiety front this spring.
I’m aware that for some people, anxiety is a real medical problem and I am no doctor. I’m not suggesting that you chuck your medication in the nearest bin. I’m just sharing some of the tips that have helped me massively.

IF YOU TOLERATE ANXIETY, IT WILL DOMINATE
Take responsibility for your life. God has given everyone the freedom to choose to lie down and take it or stand up and fight it. Everyone can embark on the journey to overcome it. The decision is YOURS.

KEEP A JOURNAL
Write down and keep a record of every single thing that makes you feel anxious. Whether it’s doing too many things at once, not knowing the outcome of a situation, running late or a particular person or place. Identify all stress and anxiety triggers in your life and seek solutions.

AVOID ASSUMING LIKE THE PLAGUE
Although assuming is easier, it's but not always helpful. Take the time to look, stop, breathe and separate the facts from the assumptions. So often, the perception of a situation is often dictated more by your own views than the truth of the situation. Rehearsing negative ‘what-if?’ scenarios in your minds is evil, as it seriously damaging to your emotional health.

EMBRACE NOT BEING IN CONTROL
You are responsible only for that which you can have the right and ability control. You can’t possibly control life, the weather, people or the outcome of every single situation. There comes a time when a gal has to give up being a control freak and embrace not being in control, knowing that despite what you may feel and think, God is in control.

TRUST IS A MUST
Trying, struggling and straining not to be anxious is not super helpful. Get to know God’s trustworthy character and his ways helps to trust him instead of freaking out. Recently my gal told me that the more she has got to know the character of her new boyfriend the more she trusts him. This shows that trusting flows more naturally after knowing and it’s the same with a relationship with God.

YOU ARE NOT GOD
Uncertainty is a huge anxiety trigger. The Bible teaches God is omniscient (all-knowing) omnipotent (all -powerful) and omnipresent (always present). You are not God, so this means that you are never ever going know all the details going on behind the scenes. In the midst of raging uncertainty. Everyone can know and trust in a certain God. At the end of the day IF Jesus is in your boat, it can not and will not sink to the depths of the sea.

DON'T RUN TO THE PHONE, RUN TO THE THRONE
Yes, there are times to seek help and advice when your in the midst of a anxiety, however sometimes people can say things to make the situation appear ten times worst. The hotline to Heaven is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. EVERYONE can pray and call out to God.
God is gracious, kind and caring. So, even if you’ve never prayed before he will still help you.
The Bible says "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him."

There are so many more tips... but i'm constantly aware I'm writing my blog and not a book. If you loved this tips, click on the small envelope icon below and to email them with a friend. And if you have any tips - leave a comment and share them with me!

ROLLING STONE WILD CHILD MANDY SMITH FINDS FAITH

2010-04-15T05:52:00.000-07:00

Rolling Stone wild child Mandy Smith: I've found faith - mirror.co.uk - News story of the week!!
Mandy said: "You can still be fashionable and have fun but also respect yourself as a follower of Jesus."....Well said...I could haven't put it better myself!

WHO GETS YOUR VOTE?

2010-04-14T06:14:00.000-07:00

Check out my new vote poll (to the left)-I'm interested to know, who gets your vote!

CALLING ALL WORKING GALS

2010-04-13T03:32:00.000-07:00

'Reclaim your lunch hour' - I found this fabulous inspirational article on the Guardian website. It's soooooooooo tempting to spend your lunch hour at your desk, however it's great to get out and about especially now the weather is heating up...you'll be amazed what you can squeeze into an hour lunch break these days. For suggestions of lunchtime activities all around England - click (here). And thanks for stopping by today, sending you a virtual hug xxx

ARTICLE OF THE DAY - 10 STYLE COMMANDMENTS

2010-04-12T04:14:00.000-07:00

Just looking through my portfolio, It's good for a gal to celebrate her achievements every once in a while. I love love this article - it was my 1st ever fashion piece. Selena Gray's savvy style guide to looking fabulous! 10 Style commandments. Click here to read and enjoy. xxxx

A DATE AT THE TATE

2010-04-09T07:36:00.000-07:00

This week, I started my week with a date at the Tate Britain museum . It’s on spontaneous days out in London that I realise just how incredibly fortunate I am to live in such a cosmopolitan city. The Tate Britain is a haven of talent and creativity. As I strolled around soaking up the art, I ended up in the Historic British Art rooms, displaying works from 1500 to around 1900. It was interesting looking at the Tudor fashion in the portrait collections. For some strange reason, I was under the false impression that back then men dressed much more masculine than they do today. However from observing the fashion, the men looked so feminine. It was a real shock to the system to see men with shoulder-length wavy hair, frilly shirts, wearing red tight trousers and knee high boots and diamante shoes.The mind boggles.
For me good art communicates. Some pieces were just captivating. I would look and feel myself moving closer and closer to the painting to get a better view. And then I felt something at hit the bottom of my legs, the boundary wire, obviously for visitors like me. Also I noticed the strict instruction in my guide leaflet saying “Please don’t touch the works of art. Even clean hands damage surfaces”. The boundary wire reminded me of the need to maintain boundaries in my own life; after all I sure don’t want people putting their grubby or clean hands all over me, my life or time. BC (before Christ) I suffered massively simply because I had no boundaries in my life. Recently, I’ve been learning more about the importance of boundaries even with myself. God has taught me that my life, time, money, energy, mind, body, friendships and creative ideas are all precious and I need strong boundary wires in every area. I know my friends are secretly pleased that I’m now more aware of their personal boundaries too. It’s super challenging maintaining boundary wires. I’m really good at establishing them but they keep slipping down particularly my late-night internet use, budgeting, use of time, words I speak and food.
A boundary is something that indicates a limit. Boundary lines are everywhere all around the city in public spaces like tube platforms and life is great when people adhere to them.
As I read the Bible, I can see that one of the reasons Jesus managed to live such a fulfilling and anxious-free lifestyle was because he had good boundaries in place. I find boundaries protect me from so much inner turmoil, anxiety and people-pleasing. Jesus said “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly” (John 10v10). The dictionary defines the word abundant as meaning more than adequate, richly supplied, plentiful. Doesn’t that sound nice? Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t come to Jesus for a smiley problem-free life, but I’m committed to examining and guarding myself and my life so I can actually enjoy the life Jesus taught about and died to activate. Having no boundary wires opens the door to the thief that steals the abundance. I’ve come to the tried and tested conclusion that we can all either choose the effort of maintaining boundaries or the pain of regret.

To listen to a 25 minute fabulous sermon on Boundaries by Laura Crihfield (click here)

MUSIC VIDEO OF THE DAY: KANYE WEST- JESUS WALKS (CLEAN VERSION)

2010-04-08T02:54:00.000-07:00

Did anyone else know about the "clean Church" version of Kanye West - Jesus Walks??
Yesterday my gal told me about this video, I had no idea! It's a great video - I always love videos that tell a powerful story. Let me know what you think?

POEM OF THE DAY - THE VICTOR

2010-04-07T03:23:00.000-07:00

If you think you are beaten, you are

If you think you dare not, you don’t
If you like to win but think you can’t,It’s almost a cinch you won’t
If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost

For out in the world we find success begins with a fellow’s will

It’s all in the state of mind

If you think you are outclassed, you are
You’ve got to think high to rise
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before You can ever win the prize
Life’s battles don’t always go to the stronger or faster man
But sooner or later, the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.

Poet: C.W. Longenecker

ARTICLE OF THE DAY - MANIPULATIVE RELATIONSHIPS

2010-04-06T03:53:00.000-07:00

This is the article of my day, courtesy of UCB.

Manipulative relationships
FEAR OF MAN IS A DANGEROUS TRAP... PROVERBS 29:25
When you enter any relationship, romantic, social, business or otherwise, be careful what you permit in the beginning, because it will come to be expected. For example, if you have to buy someone's friendship by letting them manipulate you, be prepared to keep paying; and don't plan on changing them. Just think how difficult it is to change yourself - so what are your chances of changing somebody else? Decide now what you can live with later. And stop living like there's no tomorrow; because tomorrow always comes! Solomon said, 'Fear of man is a dangerous trap...' Relationships can't thrive with one person calling all the shots while the other struggles for approval. Paul said he had no interest in 'trying to make people accept him.' His only interest was pleasing God (see Galatians 1:10 NCV). God will never ask you to violate your values or disobey His will just to be in the good graces of another person. In fact, it's better to be alone than to allow anyone other than God to control you. Let people know up front that while you'd like their approval you can live without it if you have to. Respect others, and make it clear you expect the same in return. Above all, never let emotion win out over wisdom, or drown out the voice of God in your life. When you're insecure you can be drawn into wrong relationships. Security is a fundamental part of your identity as God's child. Paul says you '...are God's masterpiece...created...anew in Christ...' (Ephesians 2:10 NLT). God wants you free to be who you are. That's why when you ask Him to guide your relationships, He'll help you to form the right ones.
Bible in a year : Num 8- 10; Matt 6:19- 34; Ps 37: 16-24; Pr 11:4

For more daily encouraging words from UCB (click here)

"I HAD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH MEN & WOMEN"

2010-04-03T04:39:00.000-07:00

Today is Easter Saturday, but what does the cross of Jesus Christ mean to the 21st century woman? Allow me to introduce my fabulous friend Charlie who opens her heart, as she talks to me about her life BC (before Christ), her journey to faith and difference Jesus makes to her life in the city. Charlie Gordon, 24 became at Christian at 18. BC (before Christ) she juggled studying, a part time job as well as working as a drug dealer, an apprentice to one of the biggest drug dealers in her town. “From 15, I was walking that side of life, I was on the illegitimate opportunity ladder,” she says. Charlie, now works as a Project Co-ordinator. I ask her, what it was like being a young female and selling drugs in such a male dominated arena. “There were other girls in rat race circle as it were, you either became a girlfriend of one of the boys or you hold your own. I was kind of forced to be independent, just through my circumstances. I was a real big tomboy. From a young age, I was a fraudster, fighter, gang leader; I was always the leader in whatever I did. I always lead or paved the way and demanded respect.” She explains. “I never bullied anyone or anything, so it had a dual purpose. At school I was the local Sherriff. Most of the people I beat up was because they were bullying other people. My philosophy in life was... excuse my French... if you let one person take the pi** out of you, you’re going to have a queue, so don’t let one,” says Charlie giggling.
As I sit comfortably and listen to Charlie, it’s clear that Jesus and his moral teachings were far from her thoughts, so how did she get caught up in Christianity? “I kind of just fell into knowing more about Christianity, prior to becoming a Christian, my only real understanding of God was just a loose Catholic background from school. Looking back, I suppose I was on a personal faith journey, but hadn’t really thought about it that seriously” says Charlie. “Although I went to a Catholic school, If I had a conversation about God, whilst out drinking, probably charlied up, I’d be like, yeah…I believe in God , I’m a Catholic. It was very much like a label thing. My life was no way an example."
As Charlie talks about being ‘Charlied up’, I think of the statistics that show cocaine use in Britain has rocketed in the past few years, more than one in seven people in their 20’s have now taken cocaine. I ask Charlie. In her opinion why it’s so popular? “I think one reason people take drugs because is they are bored and you itch for a sense of purpose and meaning that you get through experiences. When you take drugs and get on that high, you feel more alive and hyper, because your energy and emotional levels are exaggerated. Many people want to physically feel life. Cocaine gives a counterfeit sense of I’m being alive” I ask Charlie, if she ever gets tempted to do drugs again. “Of course, I get tempted. I have to say, in all honesty, having an encounter with God is far better and you’re not paying for it - it’s free. And there is no high like the most high” she says.
I'm loving Charlie’s honesty. It's a real breath of fresh air. So.. how did she get to God aka ‘the most high’? Charlie tells me whilst she was delivering drugs to a friend. As she sat relaxing in the front room there was a knock at the door and a lady stood on the door step. A friend of her friend who Charlie assumed was a Jehovah’s witness but it turns out the lady was a Christian.
“I kind of wanted to shoo her away from the door, however my friend welcomes her in”. With a Christian in the room, Charlie jumped at the opportunity to get some of her God questions answered. As well as answering her questions, the Christian lady told her about Alpha, a nine week course introducing the Christian faith, an environment where she could ask questions and get more answers. Charlie signed up for Alpha and went along each week. “The only reason I kept going back was the concept of knowing God personally. I couldn’t get my head around it. I kind of had 3 theories in my mind (a) these people were trying to win me over to take my money (b) they were deluded or (c) they were being genuine and I would be proved wrong. I felt like I understood the information about God to some degree, I wanted the power and evidence of it,” she says.“Then one day during the course, I went to (c) and I thought okay God, if you are really there and Jesus really did die for me and I can be born again, forgiven and have a fresh start a new life, like round two - I’m up for that, if you empower me. That’s how I became a Christian, God showed up and he revealed himself to me”.
I ask Charlie what she would say to my readers who are at this moment thinking. ‘Okay…so you think you can do all that bad stuff, fraud, selling drugs and helping to ruin people's lives with addiction and you just turn from your sins and become a Christian and that’s it..voilà, all gone. “If becoming a Christian was down to me, I’d never be good enough for a relationship with God. That was the beauty of it. I’d had sexual experiences with men and women, I'd done everything wrong you could think of and when I came to God he wasn’t like ‘look what you’ve done, you better sort that out, give yourself 40 lashes'. No...when I came to God, I found love, forgiveness from the past and grace. I haven’t put my old self to the grave; I’ve put some of the things I used to do to bed. God wanted to show me who I was meant to be”. Charlie’s faith story is moving and she has a real attitude of gratitude to God, It’s just outrageously exciting listening to the freedom that faith in Jesus has brought her. Charlie told me that through faith, she feels internally cleaned from shame and guilt from her sins, I asked her to explain.
“I was cleansed and washed by the knowledge that I was absolutely loved. I don’t have to be conditioned by my circumstances or past experiences in life. It’s an extreme feeling, when someone does something for you that you know you’ve done nothing to deserve. I’ve been released from shame; the problem in the world there is nothing there to help us get over shame, It’s all just entrapment”. I find myself nodding in agreement, she has a valid point.
“In the last year particularly, God has taught me to really love myself, and I have to say hands down, I love who I am. I love my personality, I love who god has created me to be. I didn’t have self-hate issues before but I’m free from the need to be a certain way to fit in and be accepted.” Now I’m just secure in ‘who I am’ in God, before anything else”. In closing, I ask Charlie what she loves most about her life in the city with God. “It’s an adventure; I love joy and the freedom to dream with God and having stability in my life. Given her background Charlie’s life statistically should look completely different than it does today, her life is has been totally transformed by faith in Jesus, It's a timely reminder that there is more to the Easter season than cute fluffy bunnies and dee-licious chocolate eggs.